Women, dont read if male sexual conquest offends you. Lets hear some war stories..

[JohnyJuice]

These are the things you talk about with your friends over a beer, while reminiscing (sp) and trading stories. The manly stories of us sullying chicks, and doing rotten shit. I will start with one....

I was in 11th grade, and i was hooking up with this slut chick in my friends room. She was giving me some head, when she stopped and said "i am gonna get some whipped cream". While she was talking i saw her friend walk into the next bedroom to change (she had just been swimming). When the chick i was hooking up with left the room, i walked into the next room over and started throwing some game on her friend. We had hung out before, so we already knew each other rather well. Within a minute i was getting a hand job on the bed. Right then and there the first chick walks in the room with a can of whipped cream looking for me. She says me shlong in her friends hand and walks out of the room. The chick massaging my beast tells me to go and talk to her. So i said i would when she finished. And yes, she finished.

Lets hear some of your manly triumphs.

 

[roidog420]

Was fucking two broads one time(1 blond, 1 red-head) & they both thought they were my girlfriends. Somehow they found out about each other & decided to come into my work TOGETHER to throw it in my face that they knew about what I was doing. When they walked in I was just like.... "YA"??!?! They were shocked as hell that I wasn't a muttering, stuttering, little prick trying to pull excuses out of my ass. They ended up throwing all the stuff that I had given each of them at me for like 5 straight minutes, while the other employess were laughing their asses off. Naked pictures, & Teddy Bears were definitely airborne that night. If I remember correctly, I think that one of them picked up a Cigarette display rack & launched it at me as a matter of fact. The moral of the story is...I fucked the blond the next night, and the other one( red-head)a week after that. ALTHOUGH the redhead DID get some revenge on me by scratching the everlovin' hell out of my back while I was fucking her. I guess she thought she would leave her mark. O well.

 

[Taps]

I'm waiting for Morpheous to finish downloading a 12MB song. On my 56K that'll be another 15 mins or so. Might as well kill some time...

Anyway, here's my funny story. One of 'em anyway. Happened 5-6 years ago.

Hooked up with this girl at a house party. We ended up in one of the bedrooms, and she gave me a handjob.

After it was over I suggested we just get back to the party (romantic guy that I am). I was pretty drunk and didn't worry much about what had just happened.

Anyway, the next day I was talking to the guy who owned the house. He told me that when he'd gone to bed the previous night, he'd flopped down face-first into a pile of man gunk. HAHAHAHAh....I laughed my ass off when he told me that. I was like "Man, that's disgusting...what kind of sick asshole would shoot his load on your pillow?" The poor bastard almost puked and then showered for over an hour! HAHAHAHA. LMAO! HAHAHAH....

To this day he has no idea.

 

[Sushi X]

roflmao, that was too funny taps. i just couldnt help but to laugh. that's just sick too. reminds me of american pie 1 when the dude shot in teh beer and the other guy took a drink. purely nasty. funny though.

 

[Night Fly]

Okay...these stories are hilarious!!!! LOL...I can't help but laugh!

 

[Island Son]

night fly, don't forget to lotion

 

[Night Fly]

night fly, don't forget to lotion

Of course not!

 

[strongchick]

Okay...these stories are hilarious!!!! LOL...I can't help but laugh!

me too. how can women/girls be so stupid?


and why would anyone splooge on their friend's pillow?

 

[Island Son]

Of course not!

mmm i love that all-over tan... especially with no straplines on the back

 

[Taps]

I should mention that the time, I had no idea where the "splooge" in question ended up. Could have vansished into thin air for all I cared. I didn't even think about it until the next day.

If I'd been a bit more sober I would have grabbed some kleenex or something. I'm not that bad a guy.

I even helped the dude clean his house up. So no bad karma for me. Hehehe...