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This is a total repost, but it's worth noting I've experimented with it already. Here goes... I didn't proof read it...
It started as a joke to myself really. After sexes with (my) wife, I say a one line thing, nothing imortant or spectacular, just something while unmounting her. lol Yes unmounting! Anyway, she hasn't caught on yet, not sure if it's the heat of them moment or we're both breathing hard after orgasms or whatever but she hasn't said a word yet....
Last night I cameded errr, on her and said "Damn, we got to recycle that shit." That's all, nothing special but a little odd. I' keep saying weirder and weirder stuff to catch her off goaurd or something.
The other night I said "Sparky would love that." another...
"Fucking homeless people wtf?"
Why doesn't she say anything? Does she just accept me as a retard and doesn't question anything I say anymore?
I'm going to be pushing the envelope soon. Any suggestions as to what to say? I've already mentioned Nathan. lol
I finished once, looked at my watch real quick, pressed the side button as if I had been timing us, and said "Fuck!!!" She doesn't freaking say a word about it, that's what's buugging me. wtf is wrong with my wife?
Is she on another board asking "What's wrong with my husband? He's been saying this....?"? <--- love the double question marks.
Anyway, I'm going to make her comment if it's the last thing I do! Fuck her, bitch!
I want to bang my wife from behind and in the middle of it call my mother to talk with her. I'll be dialing the phone and the wife will ask "Who the fuck are you calling?"
"Ummm, my mother, shhh, she'll hear you!" as I'm pumping away.
Then I'll call HER mother on 3-way. We'll talk about linen colors and furniture for hours (minutes*)
*seconds
She's politically cheating on me!
We're having the doing it and I'm pumping away. I'm looking right at her face and with a straight face ask "Who...... did you vote for?"
Her: "What?!????"
Me (still pumping): "WHO did you vote for in the last election?"
Her: The Presidential election? What the hell are you" I stopped her right there, grabbed her face tightly, and demanded....
"Answer me now! Who did you vote for? Was it Kerry or Bush?!?!" (I'm still pumping for oil at this point.)
She doesn't want to be bothered, she answers "I voted for Kerry, hon." with a worried look on her face.
Me: Liar! You fucking whore, you voted for Bush didn't you?!?"
Her: "OMG, no, I went right after you and voted for all the same people, I swear!".
Me: "Fucking traitor. Take that! UHHHHHUHHHH...UHHHH" I came in her.
"You're dead to me." and..... dismount.
Fuck that bitch. I can't prove it though. That's the problem.
Oh yeah, slept on the couch again. Fuck.
Mr. dB wrote:
Do your neighbors still eavesdrop on your baby monitor?
This morning as my wife was going to her car, the neighbor says Hi, small talk... and I could barely hear what he asked next as I was closing the front door.... "Hey, are you a registered Democrat?" wtf? Where did he get a question like that out of the blue if he's still not listening to the "Y" channel? I will NOT change to "X". Why should i be the one to change it, our kid was born first, so we had the thing on first. All they have to do is change the damn switch on the side to "X" instead of "Y" and we're all good again. It's a matter of principle.
and After the comings on her back yesterday, I really did ask "Was Nixon rightfully impeached?"
Her: "WWWWWHAT??"
Me: "Nixon, was he impeached rightfully or was he framed or something like that?"
Her: "Uhhh, mmm, I don't know.... He was impeeeached!"
Me: "Just wondering about that."
Her: "You're fucking me and talking about Nixon getting Impeached?!?"
Me: "Forget it."
THAT happened yesterday. It felt good.
It started as a joke to myself really. After sexes with (my) wife, I say a one line thing, nothing imortant or spectacular, just something while unmounting her. lol Yes unmounting! Anyway, she hasn't caught on yet, not sure if it's the heat of them moment or we're both breathing hard after orgasms or whatever but she hasn't said a word yet....
Last night I cameded errr, on her and said "Damn, we got to recycle that shit." That's all, nothing special but a little odd. I' keep saying weirder and weirder stuff to catch her off goaurd or something.
The other night I said "Sparky would love that." another...
"Fucking homeless people wtf?"
Why doesn't she say anything? Does she just accept me as a retard and doesn't question anything I say anymore?
I'm going to be pushing the envelope soon. Any suggestions as to what to say? I've already mentioned Nathan. lol
I finished once, looked at my watch real quick, pressed the side button as if I had been timing us, and said "Fuck!!!" She doesn't freaking say a word about it, that's what's buugging me. wtf is wrong with my wife?
Is she on another board asking "What's wrong with my husband? He's been saying this....?"? <--- love the double question marks.
Anyway, I'm going to make her comment if it's the last thing I do! Fuck her, bitch!
I want to bang my wife from behind and in the middle of it call my mother to talk with her. I'll be dialing the phone and the wife will ask "Who the fuck are you calling?"
"Ummm, my mother, shhh, she'll hear you!" as I'm pumping away.
Then I'll call HER mother on 3-way. We'll talk about linen colors and furniture for hours (minutes*)
*seconds
She's politically cheating on me!
We're having the doing it and I'm pumping away. I'm looking right at her face and with a straight face ask "Who...... did you vote for?"
Her: "What?!????"
Me (still pumping): "WHO did you vote for in the last election?"
Her: The Presidential election? What the hell are you" I stopped her right there, grabbed her face tightly, and demanded....
"Answer me now! Who did you vote for? Was it Kerry or Bush?!?!" (I'm still pumping for oil at this point.)
She doesn't want to be bothered, she answers "I voted for Kerry, hon." with a worried look on her face.
Me: Liar! You fucking whore, you voted for Bush didn't you?!?"
Her: "OMG, no, I went right after you and voted for all the same people, I swear!".
Me: "Fucking traitor. Take that! UHHHHHUHHHH...UHHHH" I came in her.
"You're dead to me." and..... dismount.
Fuck that bitch. I can't prove it though. That's the problem.
Oh yeah, slept on the couch again. Fuck.
Mr. dB wrote:
Do your neighbors still eavesdrop on your baby monitor?
This morning as my wife was going to her car, the neighbor says Hi, small talk... and I could barely hear what he asked next as I was closing the front door.... "Hey, are you a registered Democrat?" wtf? Where did he get a question like that out of the blue if he's still not listening to the "Y" channel? I will NOT change to "X". Why should i be the one to change it, our kid was born first, so we had the thing on first. All they have to do is change the damn switch on the side to "X" instead of "Y" and we're all good again. It's a matter of principle.
and After the comings on her back yesterday, I really did ask "Was Nixon rightfully impeached?"
Her: "WWWWWHAT??"
Me: "Nixon, was he impeached rightfully or was he framed or something like that?"
Her: "Uhhh, mmm, I don't know.... He was impeeeached!"
Me: "Just wondering about that."
Her: "You're fucking me and talking about Nixon getting Impeached?!?"
Me: "Forget it."
THAT happened yesterday. It felt good.
