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- Thread starter dullboy
- Start date
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BrothaBill
Guest
lmao @ AnabolicFreak, fucking funny bastard hahaha
foreigngirl
New member
anabolicfreak said:LOL, yeah you got meI cant keep it up any longer.
Thats my funny STD story.
ok, so you have herpes and you know its not curable. There. I'll make sure I announce it to the world
anabolicfreak
New member
BrothaBill said:
glad you enjoyed it!GoldenDelicious
New member
cut n pasted from where i wrote it on another forum:
lets briefly turn this into a Delicious Nightclubbing report for a second....so there i was, right, in this bar, and seriously guys...i was looking really, really hot like, REALLY hot! i know everyone was looking at me, and not just for my very stylish handkerchief or incredible shrinking waistline so anyway, the bar around us was dead and we decide to switch to a place across the street that seemed to be pumping...and it was a total dickfarm 
. it was terrible sad it had a schlong rating of an extreme 7...which means 7 schlongs per square metre 
it was terrible. but i wasnt going to be discouraged by such minor details as there being 5 times as many guys in that club...after all, we're talking about me here ...and then...the wet Tshirt competition started
oh. my. God.
it wasnt a wet Tshirt competition. it was a livestock auction. it was a dairy farmers dream. those boobs were HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE. each boob was worth 4 rainas. it was sickening. they were slapping together like 2 haggis thrown at each other and colliding mid-air. oh God, i feel ill just thinking about it sad brrrrrrrrrrr :spew:
so i turned to my mates and said "lets get the hell out of here before the crowd starts hurling, and we get swept away by a vomit tsunami!!" and we do...and i spy, with my little eye, a really, really nice looking little philipino latin dancer girl i met once upon a time, in a pink mini and black strappy top. she just turned 18 ooooooh yyyyeeeeeaaaahhhhhh, i was in business, definitely.
so anyway, i go up to her and, cut a long story short, wave my freinds goodbye and walk her to my car (i am on the Jedi Pickup Artist Council, in case you didnt know) where we have a chat and physically flirty, and right when i was giving her my Crazy Grasshopper stomach massage (TM) and she started making girly noises, she leaned in and said "golden, i have to tell you something". now, even in my dnp induced lethargic haze, in my car with foggy windows (from me sweating lol) Titanic style, i knew that she was about to say something about a boyfriend, so i thought "fuck! quick! emergency conversation evasive maneuvers! distract her! distract her!" but alas, she was adamant. and so i finally said "ok baby whats up?" and she said possibly te worst thing i have heard in my entire pickup career...
...
...
"i just want you to know, i have herpes"
*boot*
me = pwned by someone elses virus
ok fine so i didnt boot her. i actually spent half an hour reassuring her that it was a really common thing, and not to feel bad at all about it, and that its no problem sexually...despite teh fact that i no longer wanted to have sex lol (i wasnt going to have sex anyway, too sleazy...in a car? after clubbing?)
end snip
lets briefly turn this into a Delicious Nightclubbing report for a second....so there i was, right, in this bar, and seriously guys...i was looking really, really hot
like, REALLY hot! i know everyone was looking at me, and not just for my very stylish handkerchief or incredible shrinking waistline so anyway, the bar around us was dead and we decide to switch to a place across the street that seemed to be pumping...and it was a total dickfarm . it was terrible sad it had a schlong rating of an extreme 7...which means 7 schlongs per square metre it was terrible. but i wasnt going to be discouraged by such minor details as there being 5 times as many guys in that club...after all, we're talking about me here ...and then...the wet Tshirt competition started oh. my. God.
it wasnt a wet Tshirt competition. it was a livestock auction. it was a dairy farmers dream. those boobs were HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE. each boob was worth 4 rainas. it was sickening. they were slapping together like 2 haggis thrown at each other and colliding mid-air. oh God, i feel ill just thinking about it sad brrrrrrrrrrr :spew:
so i turned to my mates and said "lets get the hell out of here before the crowd starts hurling, and we get swept away by a vomit tsunami!!" and we do...and i spy, with my little eye, a really, really nice looking little philipino latin dancer girl i met once upon a time, in a pink mini and black strappy top
. she just turned 18 ooooooh yyyyeeeeeaaaahhhhhh, i was in business, definitely.so anyway, i go up to her and, cut a long story short, wave my freinds goodbye and walk her to my car (i am on the Jedi Pickup Artist Council, in case you didnt know
) where we have a chat and physically flirty, and right when i was giving her my Crazy Grasshopper stomach massage (TM) and she started making girly noises, she leaned in and said "golden, i have to tell you something". now, even in my dnp induced lethargic haze, in my car with foggy windows (from me sweating lol) Titanic style, i knew that she was about to say something about a boyfriend, so i thought "fuck! quick! emergency conversation evasive maneuvers! distract her! distract her!" but alas, she was adamant. and so i finally said "ok baby whats up?" and she said possibly te worst thing i have heard in my entire pickup career......
...
"i just want you to know, i have herpes"
*boot*
me = pwned by someone elses virus
ok fine so i didnt boot her. i actually spent half an hour reassuring her that it was a really common thing, and not to feel bad at all about it, and that its no problem sexually...despite teh fact that i no longer wanted to have sex lol (i wasnt going to have sex anyway, too sleazy...in a car? after clubbing?)
end snip
anabolicfreak
New member
Seriously though, one time I was at a frat party going at it with this chick when she stopped and told me she "had something she had to tell me" before we went any further. LOL I knew what was coming because she was starting to cry a little bit and couldnt look at me when she told me that she had herpes. I played it cool though and told her that it was alright, that alot of people did, etc..etc..etc...and that I would be right back, I just had to get a condom out of my car....
...yeah you guessed it; I got in my car and got the hell out of there ASAP!!
Dirty slut
...yeah you guessed it; I got in my car and got the hell out of there ASAP!!
Dirty slut
foreigngirl
New member
anabolicfreak said:
lol...but arent you lucky she told you before anything happened?
GoldenDelicious
New member
like lickin a pizzaPICK3 said:
oh fuck that was nasty, even for me
B
BrothaBill
Guest
foreigngirl said:
did you know you can get gonorrhea from riding a tractor?
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