Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
.jpg "Research Chemical Sciences")
.png "Research Chemical Sciences")
C
Captain_insano
Guest
Pickup Lines
In our less serious hours, we've sat around laughing and thinking up ideas for "picking up" on love interests (or lust interests, whichever the case may be). We think these would be funny to use online or off. Online, spice up your humorous one-liners by using 'emoticons,' those neat little faces that people make with letters and symbols, such as smilies like
or :-D. If you want to wink at someone in a chatroom who has a, erhm, hot nickname, wink at him/her: . If you're being cute, stick your tongue out: . And yes, we do have a lot of time on our hands.
One warning though. Some of these are a little on the risky side. It's a good idea if the other party knows you're playing around (unless you're being serious!)
For Men to Use:
Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
Hey..somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
Have you ever played leap frog naked??
I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
I know a great way to burn off the 300 calories in that pastry you just ate.
A woman asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
At the office copy machine. "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.
Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.
Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.
I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
Sorry to bother you, but I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.
Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"
Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.)
Were you just smiling at me from across the room, or do I have my contacts in wrong?
For women to use:
If I could be anything I'd be a tear: Born in your eye, live on your cheek, and die at your lips.
I put a drop of tear in the ocean for you... and I'll stop loving you when you find that teardrop.
Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that it"s a big river, and the bunny on this side (it doesn"t matter which side) really needs to get to the other side. Then tell the person how they think that bunny got across. And when they finally give up, give them puppy eyes and tell them that there was no bunny, but that you just wanted to hold their hand. (Awwwwww)
Does Levi's pay you for wearing those and looking that good?
Do you eat lots of Lucky Charms? Because you look magically delicious.
Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can't you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change?
Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.
I lost my rubber duckie. Would you bathe with me instead?
I tried to find the perfect line to make you mine, sweetheart, but after searching all I could come up with was this look in my eyes and your hand in mine, and the words, will you be mine?
Baby, when I saw you sit down, I got jealous of the chair.
Do you work for UPS? 'Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package!
Walk up behind your crush and tuck (or pretend to) in their shirt tag, and as they turn around you say: "There, NOW you're perfect."
If someone gives you the finger you say: "Is that a promise?"
If a star fell for every time i thought of you, the sky would be empty.
Kissing is a language of love....so how about a conversation?
Wow! You have big feet! Can I find out if what people say is true?
Don't worry, I don't get emotionally involved. It's just physical.
Do you like Stove Top stuffing? Great, you can stuff me on your stove top anytime.
You're hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power!
I'd like to browse through your clothes like I browse through NETSCAPE!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go screw.
Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going...
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
If you were a car, I'd wax you and ride you all over town.
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot.
You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.
The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue.
Would you like to carry my books for me?
Would you be my refugee?
It's a new world order. Have your way with me.
You may have had breakfast for dinner but you should have me for breakfast.
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
Did it hurt? (What?) When you fell from heaven.
Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
After hearing a pick-up line: I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
What do you like for breakfast?
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
For anyone:
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call
your mother and thank her.
Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Watch for those yes
answers]
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyways.
The word of the day is "legs". Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
My name's [your name]. That's just so you know what to scream.
My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover".
Nice shoes. Wanna have sex??
Can I flirt with you?
Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
[Look at her/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":] Checking to see if you were made in heaven. OR:
Checking to see if you're the right size.
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? or...(my favorite).... , would you hold me against it?
I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
[Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart. [Cheese alert!]
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up? OR: Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing
that pops up.
Do you know what looks good on you? Me.
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
So.. How am I doin'?
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
[Tap your thigh.] You just think this is my leg.
Is this your broom, you know the one you used to sweep me off my feet.
In our less serious hours, we've sat around laughing and thinking up ideas for "picking up" on love interests (or lust interests, whichever the case may be). We think these would be funny to use online or off. Online, spice up your humorous one-liners by using 'emoticons,' those neat little faces that people make with letters and symbols, such as smilies like
or :-D. If you want to wink at someone in a chatroom who has a, erhm, hot nickname, wink at him/her: . If you're being cute, stick your tongue out: . And yes, we do have a lot of time on our hands.One warning though. Some of these are a little on the risky side. It's a good idea if the other party knows you're playing around (unless you're being serious!)
For Men to Use:
Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
Hey..somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
Have you ever played leap frog naked??
I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
I know a great way to burn off the 300 calories in that pastry you just ate.
A woman asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
At the office copy machine. "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.
Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.
Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.
I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
Sorry to bother you, but I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.
Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"
Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.)
Were you just smiling at me from across the room, or do I have my contacts in wrong?
For women to use:
If I could be anything I'd be a tear: Born in your eye, live on your cheek, and die at your lips.
I put a drop of tear in the ocean for you... and I'll stop loving you when you find that teardrop.
Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that it"s a big river, and the bunny on this side (it doesn"t matter which side) really needs to get to the other side. Then tell the person how they think that bunny got across. And when they finally give up, give them puppy eyes and tell them that there was no bunny, but that you just wanted to hold their hand. (Awwwwww)
Does Levi's pay you for wearing those and looking that good?
Do you eat lots of Lucky Charms? Because you look magically delicious.
Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can't you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change?
Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.
I lost my rubber duckie. Would you bathe with me instead?
I tried to find the perfect line to make you mine, sweetheart, but after searching all I could come up with was this look in my eyes and your hand in mine, and the words, will you be mine?
Baby, when I saw you sit down, I got jealous of the chair.
Do you work for UPS? 'Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package!
Walk up behind your crush and tuck (or pretend to) in their shirt tag, and as they turn around you say: "There, NOW you're perfect."
If someone gives you the finger you say: "Is that a promise?"
If a star fell for every time i thought of you, the sky would be empty.
Kissing is a language of love....so how about a conversation?
Wow! You have big feet! Can I find out if what people say is true?
Don't worry, I don't get emotionally involved. It's just physical.
Do you like Stove Top stuffing? Great, you can stuff me on your stove top anytime.
You're hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power!
I'd like to browse through your clothes like I browse through NETSCAPE!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go screw.
Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going...
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
If you were a car, I'd wax you and ride you all over town.
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot.
You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.
The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue.
Would you like to carry my books for me?
Would you be my refugee?
It's a new world order. Have your way with me.
You may have had breakfast for dinner but you should have me for breakfast.
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
Did it hurt? (What?) When you fell from heaven.
Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
After hearing a pick-up line: I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
What do you like for breakfast?
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
For anyone:
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call
your mother and thank her.
Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Watch for those yes
answers]
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyways.
The word of the day is "legs". Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
My name's [your name]. That's just so you know what to scream.
My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover".
Nice shoes. Wanna have sex??
Can I flirt with you?
Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
[Look at her/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":] Checking to see if you were made in heaven. OR:
Checking to see if you're the right size.
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? or...(my favorite).... , would you hold me against it?
I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
[Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart. [Cheese alert!]
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up? OR: Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing
that pops up.
Do you know what looks good on you? Me.
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
So.. How am I doin'?
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
[Tap your thigh.] You just think this is my leg.
Is this your broom, you know the one you used to sweep me off my feet.
