How is your partner awful in bed?

[Underwraps]

How is/was your partner awful in bed and what would you like them to do differently to improve your sexual relationship? And, was it the cause or is it a potential cause for breakup or infidelity?

 

[Underwraps]

As a recently cheating wife these are the reasons the married men gave for why they were cheating. I can't try to put myself on higher ground, but in my case I was cheating for reasons beyond just lousy sex (that I didn't realize was lousy as I was young and naive) . I did year after year (15 total) try to tell him what I wanted. I do have other extenuating circumstances like children, economics, his very likely infidelity, his extremely rare yet emotionally damaging moments of physically going too far etc... (I remember the exact moment I snapped in my head that changed me forever.) Why not leave? My 1 broken heart and him being disrespected is still better than breaking the hearts of children and damaging them forever.
Anyway,
For the men, they gave these reasons why they cheated and many fall under "lousy in bed"- the thread topic. (I'm sure they had more, but wouldn't say.)
I'm trying to list them in order of most common reasons given to lesser common ones.

1) Bored- no passion. Wanted to feel the flames that light with someone new.
2) Life is too short to not enjoy, but can't/won't leave their marriages (usually kids involved).
3) Wife doesn't want sex much and to her sex is like a "chore". &/or Wife is neglecting him in other ways.
4) Wife doesn't want sex/can't have sex at all.
5) He wants to sow more wild oats and settle back down again. (loves wife)
6) Wife is too conservative such as -
-wife won't go down on him (doesn't know how to please in general)
-wife won't let him go down on her
- wife will only do much beyond missionary
7) Wife wouldn't do anal and they've always wanted to try.
8) Has various fantasies to act out that boring/conservative wife won't do.
Example fantasies: -Lingerie ones are almost universal (Having a woman show up in garter belts and no panty or just a lace thong etc...)
-Getting rimmed
-Having prostate stimulated by dildo (strap on fantasy)
-More dirty/wild sex than what's at home
etc...
9) They're are traveling through another town and so they simply can.
10) Looking to satisfy something missing/unfulfilled.
11) Wife has let herself go.
etc... Have any to add? What are some pitfalls men/women need to be aware of as far as what men/women want to help a relationship? Do you have unfulfilled wishes and fantasies?

 

[Underwraps]

If you read my letter to Craigslist casual encounters of my region you'll know I'm threw with my outside adventures. But, I learned a lot and I'm wanting to share what people want to know but won't ask or won't tell. It's only my opinion and point of view and I'm sure there are women who like/love the things I think are awful bedroom behaviors. So, here's a list of the top things that turned me off about the men I encountered. These are not all seperate men as there were men who had multiple issues.

1) Bad breath (duh)
2) Can't stay hard (duh) with me on top so I had to finish him off. (He wasn't into me and I wish he just said so and spared me THAT awful 1st encounter.)
3) spanking
4) hair pulling that's too hard
5) creepy dirty talk esp. if it includes the word "daddy"
6) stiff fat tongue invasion kissing
7) darting or flicking snake tongue kissing
8) kissing that's ONLY tongue circling around tongue over and over -that's it???
9) playing with a woman's clit like they're polishing a penny and that's all they do the whole time
10) fat stomach slapping on my butt or having such ugly love handles that I didn't want to touch his body and is why he kept his shirt on the the whole time. (never again with a fatty, never again PERIOD though)
11) 1 minute of touching around the body and breasts and then straight to screwing for 20 minutes (my spouse and one of my lovers so there was no point to cheating with that guy)
12) 1 minute of touching and then going straight down to oral for 30 minutes w/o the ability or technique to bring me to orgasm though I tried to direct and he wouldn't listen (felt like an open clam and actually got boredwith the lack of creativity) He couldn't last long (3min) and so it was his way of making up for it. Poor guy.
13) Guys who can't hold back on a petite woman. I really hurt and I'd say "Ow!" and he didn't care b/c of his frustration at not being able to cum. He couldn't cum on 2 occasions out of the 4 encounters and had to go to the to shower finish off. Poor guy- issues for sure. I had to call it quits.
14) Shooting the breeze during sex like we're doing it over coffee at a cafe.
15) Not bringing/wearing a condom. (duh!)
16) Won't do oral but wants to receive it.
Not their fault: 17) Can't last long or stay hard. The record jizzer? 2 seconds. I kid you not!

Yes, I'm the resident former free whore. But, I want people to learn from my mistakes and insights so they don't have to overextend themselves like I did just to find out what is out there.
So, ladies, do hold back and test the waters as much as possible before giving it all away. Why did I not? That's the nature of a casual sex encounter- you don't know anything much until you meet somewhere and it's all or nothing. Awful, terrible way to learn and go about things. In the real world people date and you go base to base. Find out as much as you can before homerun...

 

[captainahole]

I don't know what to say. YOu left me speechless.
to bad so sad?

 

[Underwraps]

I don't know what to say. YOu left me speechless.
to bad so sad?

Yes, it is all too bad and too sad. Me and what I did, and the men involved. But, rather than keep things to myself and let others make the same mistakes or not know how women might think, I thought I'd offer insights. It all is coming out of a memoir I'm writing.

 

[nangiggles]

You have no ideahow helpful it is for me to hear ur story underwraps....

My partner does pretty well but lacks creativity and motion, it's usually me on top which I like but not 95% of the time in only that position, all else is pretty well, getting him to bed is the fail part... Im hoping this separation period (me in US and him in CR) helps a bit when we meet again...

 

[Underwraps]

You have no ideahow helpful it is for me to hear ur story underwraps....

My partner does pretty well but lacks creativity and motion, it's usually me on top which I like but not 95% of the time in only that position, all else is pretty well, getting him to bed is the fail part... Im hoping this separation period (me in US and him in CR) helps a bit when we meet again...

Love goes a long way. It lasted me 15 years. I hope you are able to be open and honest with him. My spouse used to tease me too much- ruined the mood. Sex is about joking and doing it. You are lucky if you have sensuality.

 

[nangiggles]

Love goes a long way. It lasted me 15 years. I hope you are able to be open and honest with him. My spouse used to tease me too much- ruined the mood. Sex is about joking and doing it. You are lucky if you have sensuality.

I am lucky if I have sex 3 times a month.... is it good? yes it is, but having to almost beg for it isnt

 

[captainahole]

It's damn near impossible to find a completely compatable partner in bed if you want to have a relationship out of bed. Usually one suffers.

 

[nangiggles]

That's why I dont stray, if I take the step to cheat on him there's really no use in keeping him around if I dont even respect him anymore....