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First time rejection, need a female opinion


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Excerpt: Alright here's my situation, I'm 20 and attending college and started class about a month ago. The first day of class I usually like to find a girl that I'm attracted to so i can get to know them better for the rest of the term. I sat down next to a hot spanish looking girl and asked her a question about the course website or something, just as an opener. She asks me something and we get into a conversation. I felt the body language was pretty good, good eye contact, mirroring, touching hair

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  1. #1

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    First time rejection, need a female opinion

    Alright here's my situation, I'm 20 and attending college and started class about a month ago. The first day of class I usually like to find a girl that I'm attracted to so i can get to know them better for the rest of the term. I sat down next to a hot spanish looking girl and asked her a question about the course website or something, just as an opener. She asks me something and we get into a conversation. I felt the body language was pretty good, good eye contact, mirroring, touching hair and had an overall nice conversation with little pause or uncomfortable silence.

    The next week is pretty much the same (the class is 2 hours, talk during breaks, after class, before class). We starting joking around a bit more about the prof., movie, etc and i feel we are getting closer. The next week is more of the same, except she asked me for my e-mail "in case either of us need help". Anyway, I'm starting to like her a lot more, personality wise and decide next week I'm going to ask her out (yesterday).

    Yesterday was more of the same, after class we are talking as we leave the lecture hall and walk to the subway. She's going on about something at work, disregarding that my subway has come so I have to consciously cut her off. I basically say "Listen Steph, I'd like to get to know you better, Do you want to go out sometime?". I felt confident, but didn't keep eye contact, something I usually don't do. I'm about 90% sure that she will say "sure" and we'll exchange numbers, but i was way off. (Forgot to mention shes also 20 and single). She says, instantly, "I can't I have work" *awkward pause for a few seconds* (I'm stunned, was positive she wouldn't give me that type of response, it felt like a flat out no, I probably looked like a deer in the headlights not knowing what to say). To make matters worse I missed my subway and was stuck there for a few more minutes. Than she says "It would have to be during the week", but I felt like it was more of a pity thing. I say "alright why don't I give you my number and you call me when your free". She says "Alright send it to me over facebook". She than starts going on like nothing happened and asks me something about the course.

    Before I asked her she was saying something about how shes always busy and works everyday shes off school or something, but come on, not even one evening or night free? Was I completely off understanding our connection and her body language? Should I continue to pursue or is this only a friendly thing? Please keep in mind that we are friends and I'm stuck in the same class with here for a few more months. I have gotten many numbers in the past, or have been given without asking, but she is one that I genuinely liked both physically and personality-wise.

    Sorry for the extremely long post, male advice is also welcome.

  2. #2
    Banned DJ_UFO's Avatar
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    Re: First time rejection, need a female opinion

    Sorry brother can't help here. right now I don't even know hwere I have my head regarding human interactions....I don't know how to handle girls anymore...lol I just know what I want to do with them.

    Anyhow, when I just saw the thread, I read "first time erection, need a female opinion"

  3. #3

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    Re: First time rejection, need a female opinion

    Quote Quote posted by DJ_UFO
    Anyhow, when I just saw the thread, I read "first time erection, need a female opinion"
    lol, naw no problems there. Were you disappointed when you didn't see any pics?

  4. #4
    Pro Bodybuilder CrazyK's Avatar
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    Wink Re: First time rejection, need a female opinion

    Quote Quote posted by ssj_vegeta
    Alright here's my situation, I'm 20 and attending college and started class about a month ago. The first day of class I usually like to find a girl that I'm attracted to so i can get to know them better for the rest of the term. I sat down next to a hot spanish looking girl and asked her a question about the course website or something, just as an opener. She asks me something and we get into a conversation. I felt the body language was pretty good, good eye contact, mirroring, touching hair and had an overall nice conversation with little pause or uncomfortable silence.

    The next week is pretty much the same (the class is 2 hours, talk during breaks, after class, before class). We starting joking around a bit more about the prof., movie, etc and i feel we are getting closer. The next week is more of the same, except she asked me for my e-mail "in case either of us need help". Anyway, I'm starting to like her a lot more, personality wise and decide next week I'm going to ask her out (yesterday).

    Yesterday was more of the same, after class we are talking as we leave the lecture hall and walk to the subway. She's going on about something at work, disregarding that my subway has come so I have to consciously cut her off. I basically say "Listen Steph, I'd like to get to know you better, Do you want to go out sometime?". I felt confident, but didn't keep eye contact, something I usually don't do. I'm about 90% sure that she will say "sure" and we'll exchange numbers, but i was way off. (Forgot to mention shes also 20 and single). She says, instantly, "I can't I have work" *awkward pause for a few seconds* (I'm stunned, was positive she wouldn't give me that type of response, it felt like a flat out no, I probably looked like a deer in the headlights not knowing what to say). To make matters worse I missed my subway and was stuck there for a few more minutes. Than she says "It would have to be during the week", but I felt like it was more of a pity thing. I say "alright why don't I give you my number and you call me when your free". She says "Alright send it to me over facebook". She than starts going on like nothing happened and asks me something about the course.

    Before I asked her she was saying something about how shes always busy and works everyday shes off school or something, but come on, not even one evening or night free? Was I completely off understanding our connection and her body language? Should I continue to pursue or is this only a friendly thing? Please keep in mind that we are friends and I'm stuck in the same class with here for a few more months. I have gotten many numbers in the past, or have been given without asking, but she is one that I genuinely liked both physically and personality-wise.

    Sorry for the extremely long post, male advice is also welcome.
    You've become a "good friend". This has happened to us all that have played the game long enough. She probably views you as attractive but not her type, so don't take it personal. Just move on to the next one and keep her as a friend so she can hook you up down the line

  5. #5
    Da Pope KillahBee's Avatar
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    Re: First time rejection, need a female opinion

    Quote Quote posted by ssj_vegeta
    Alright here's my situation, I'm 20 and attending college and started class about a month ago. The first day of class I usually like to find a girl that I'm attracted to so i can get to know them better for the rest of the term. I sat down next to a hot spanish looking girl and asked her a question about the course website or something, just as an opener. She asks me something and we get into a conversation. I felt the body language was pretty good, good eye contact, mirroring, touching hair and had an overall nice conversation with little pause or uncomfortable silence.

    The next week is pretty much the same (the class is 2 hours, talk during breaks, after class, before class). We starting joking around a bit more about the prof., movie, etc and i feel we are getting closer. The next week is more of the same, except she asked me for my e-mail "in case either of us need help". Anyway, I'm starting to like her a lot more, personality wise and decide next week I'm going to ask her out (yesterday).

    Yesterday was more of the same, after class we are talking as we leave the lecture hall and walk to the subway. She's going on about something at work, disregarding that my subway has come so I have to consciously cut her off. I basically say "Listen Steph, I'd like to get to know you better, Do you want to go out sometime?". I felt confident, but didn't keep eye contact, something I usually don't do. I'm about 90% sure that she will say "sure" and we'll exchange numbers, but i was way off. (Forgot to mention shes also 20 and single). She says, instantly, "I can't I have work" *awkward pause for a few seconds* (I'm stunned, was positive she wouldn't give me that type of response, it felt like a flat out no, I probably looked like a deer in the headlights not knowing what to say). To make matters worse I missed my subway and was stuck there for a few more minutes. Than she says "It would have to be during the week", but I felt like it was more of a pity thing. I say "alright why don't I give you my number and you call me when your free". She says "Alright send it to me over facebook". She than starts going on like nothing happened and asks me something about the course.

    Before I asked her she was saying something about how shes always busy and works everyday shes off school or something, but come on, not even one evening or night free? Was I completely off understanding our connection and her body language? Should I continue to pursue or is this only a friendly thing? Please keep in mind that we are friends and I'm stuck in the same class with here for a few more months. I have gotten many numbers in the past, or have been given without asking, but she is one that I genuinely liked both physically and personality-wise.

    Sorry for the extremely long post, male advice is also welcome.
    Okay, a) don't ask for female advice again. Have females had to go out and interact w/ other females in a sexual manner? Do females have to go out and "pick up" other females? NO. End of story.

    b) As it was already mentioned, you CLEARLY fell into the friend zone. And it's pretty easy to see how, too. Without knowing the details of your interactions, it seems like you ignored the #1 trap that men fall into regarding the friend zone - at no point in these ongoing interactions did you make your intentions clear. You started in the harmless "let's chit chat and get comfortable with each other" zone - great. Then moved towards the "let's chat and identify things we have in common to get on the same level" zone - great. But you stayed there. By the end of that second interaction (and certainly into the 3rd one) she should have known that you were interested in dating her. You need to make it clearer what your intentions are. Why? a) so you don't find yourself in the friend zone and b) so you don't surprise her when you go for a kiss or ask her out. You can be subtle about it, but you need to communicate your desires to her.

    c) As I'm sure you already know, giving her your number isn't the right move, especially right after she basically rejected you. It smells of desperation AND it puts her in the power position and leaves you in the "I wonder when she's gonna call" mode. No good.

    But dude, rejection is a great thing. People who haven't been rejected obviously go for the low-hanging fruit. And, they never get opportunities to learn and get better and progress. So, this was a great oppty for you to learn these things and never make the same mistakes.

    Now, go and flirt with another cutie in the same class and no doubt the Spanish hottie will come back for some of that.

  6. #6

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    Re: First time rejection, need a female opinion

    Quote Quote posted by KillahBee
    c) As I'm sure you already know, giving her your number isn't the right move, especially right after she basically rejected you. It smells of desperation AND it puts her in the power position and leaves you in the "I wonder when she's gonna call" mode. No good.
    Ya I haven't actually given her my number...don't know why I even said that.

    The thing that really confuses me is that I thought I got a lot more signs from her than other girls that I have gotten numbers from in the past. But I think your right, I did wait to long. My read was way off on this one (extra bad for me because I'm also a pretty profitable poker player lol)

    Ty for advice all, there are some other hot girls in that class and I'm sure my next post will be one where I get the number.

  7. #7
    MichaelScott's Avatar
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    Re: First time rejection, need a female opinion

    maybe she had to work, i think u r looking a little too deep

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    Re: First time rejection, need a female opinion

    Quote Quote posted by MichaelScott
    maybe she had to work, i think u r looking a little too deep
    I know that she does work a lot, especially on the weekend along with her classes, but I didn't set a specific date, I said "Do you want to go out sometime". I would have if she said yes.

  9. #9
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    Re: First time rejection, need a female opinion

    maybe she heard you asking for that night, but either way id find a new chick

  10. #10

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    Re: First time rejection, need a female opinion

    Quote Quote posted by MichaelScott
    maybe she heard you asking for that night, but either way id find a new chick
    hmmmm that would explain a lot of things...didn't even think of that. It was kinda noisy where I was too. I could have asked in a better spot if she would stfu for a second.

    I really shoulda asked for her number outright, like I usually do, instead of "do you want to go out", but I think she would have given me her number if she really wanted to anyway though. Whatever, I'll see in class this week.

    p.s. office is the best show ever, dwight rules

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