Does SEX play a big role .............................

[Evil_Frisky]

There is also the possibility that she is as much to blame as he is. If she isn't living up to her end in all areas of her life he will turn cold, much as she would if he was/is doing the same.

It takes two to foul things up especially after 12 years.

I agree completely

 

[chesty]

That is what happened with me and my ex. She was not treating me the way I wanted to be treated and in turn I went cold on her. I still cared about making sure she was satisfied, but the other stuff just crumbled.

 

[TRUEsoldier]

How big of a role does Sex play in a relationship?

If your not pleased EVER do you think it could be enough to break that last straw and ruin a marriage? Some one very close to me is having some serious marital issues, taking some time apart and her husband is REALLY trying but she says she just doesn't think it will work...

Why?

Cause in the going on 12 years they've been together the Sex was horrible. IMO its kinda shallow to divorce because of Sex but what do I know, I never had complaints about sex with my X-husband.

I guess it also sucks in her situation because HE DOESN'T CARE if she gets the BIG O or not.

damn right it plays a big role,but that is cuz you should be married if your happy, if your not happy, then you shouldnt be married anymore.

its kinda bad itt ook 12 years to figure it out though!!

Peace

 

[velvett]

Since an obtacle of sex, or lack of sex has arisen within the relationship, would you look to redefine what your relationship is to alot for this change instead of leaving the relationship?

In all my posts I believe I said (at least I thought I had said) I would NOT abandon a healthy relationship just because of such an obstacle.

Sex or no sex all relationship adjust, pivot and morph as time goes one and these changes happen so slow and subtle that it's almost hard to notice.

It's when a relationship is altered in a dramatic and instantaneous way where you really are faced with the true strength of that relationship. A solid relationship has a better chance of finding a copasetic stance than an unhealthy or weak relationship.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

Before, never after. When I made my X..that was it. It was great but, IMHO Sex isn't everything. The sex can be great and the emotional bond horrible. There has to be more there for me than SEX.. complete trust and understanding, a solid foundation and strong commitment. I've never had a one night stand in my life, for me there has to be more than the desire of fulfilment.

Good for you sweetie

 

[Dirk Howat]

How big of a role does Sex play in a relationship?

I guess it also sucks in her situation because HE DOESN'T CARE if she gets the BIG O or not.

Sex indicates the degree of attraction, i.e. the strength of a relationship. If the relationship sucks, then sex usually does. If sex is great, then the relationship tends to be great.

Being great in bed, being able to turn on, satisfy a women, give her phenomenal Os, is the key for a man to keep a hot women. Great thing, women talk about their sexual experiences, so if you are the MAN, more and more women will want you. Its like in pre historic times, the ALPHA males got all of the HOT women. The chumps would marry the women and support the Alpha males kids. Its a basic primitive animal instinct.

Great sex, holds together a relationship.

 

[Robert Jan]

you mean theres like, something else?

 

[ChefWide]

If you associate sex with affection you will have a hard time understanding a situation like that if you actually found yourself in it. I'm not saying you would not adjust but it would be hard. Sex is a double edged sword, it has the ability to bring people closer or drive them apart, too much weight should not be placed on it imo.

Aye, truth all around in this thread, but consider the situation that sex, and phenominal, world rending sex brings them together against all odds. They have children, still, raging sexual lives. Then 'it' happens. she no longer has the drive. No longer interested in 'participation' but rather simply recieving. He wakes up to find they have not a single thing in comon. Nada.

The glue, as some would put it, is gone. The higher level emotions you suggest should exist by common ground, interests, history: never existed in the first place. What then?

 

[Jade19]

I think that a lot of times in life people tend to lose their/or not have enough appreiciation for the people in their life. Family, Friends, and especially their significant others. Him not caring about her getting off is completly selfish, making an effort shows that appreiciation, everyone wants to feel that. Personally if i dont feel appreiciated, i dont feel complete or happy. Because I go out of my way to show that to the people in my life i love, even the little things count. You never know when they can be taken away.

 

[Forge]

Aye, truth all around in this thread, but consider the situation that sex, and phenominal, world rending sex brings them together against all odds. They have children, still, raging sexual lives. Then 'it' happens. she no longer has the drive. No longer interested in 'participation' but rather simply recieving. He wakes up to find they have not a single thing in comon. Nada.

The glue, as some would put it, is gone. The higher level emotions you suggest should exist by common ground, interests, history: never existed in the first place. What then?

Then they will have serious relationship problems. I've seen this exact scenario play out several times in my life, and it never ends well. This is why even though sex is very important, there has to be much more than just sex. There has to be chemistry as well, common interests, but most of all they have to actually like each other as a person. Great sex can bridge the gap, but not too large of a gap or the bridge will eventually crumble.

This is why menopause kills so many marriages, the marraige was weak to begin with but they just never noticed it before due to sex "bridging the gap".