Dealing With A Girl I Slept With

[Caleb's Tree]

Ok..here goes. I had a few dates with this girl...and I do like her....and I am looking to find a GF for this summer...so have been window shopping..dating.

Ended up sleeping with a girl...who I think has her heart set on me and wants some sort of commitment. She's a little irritated with me right now. Went on a weekend with her...which was probably a mistake. Still like the girl...but don't know how to tell her we should slow down a bit....and I am interested in someone else...who imo...might be a better prospect.

So here is my question... Can you take sex off the table...and just "date" again? Is this even possible with a girl? I'm ready for a committed relationship again....just not sure if it should be with her.

 

[canadianhitman]

Easy solution: date the other girl some, continue to date the first girl. After a few weeks of direct comparison, there will be a clear favorite...at which point you commit to the favorite and dump the other one. Why take sex of the table? It doesn't mean you're committed if you're banging (some women seem to think so, but that's their problem).

 

[SpyWizard]

which one bakes a better pie??

 

[brownbrown]

Easy solution: date the other girl some, continue to date the first girl. After a few weeks of direct comparison, there will be a clear favorite...at which point you commit to the favorite and dump the other one. Why take sex of the table? It doesn't mean you're committed if you're banging (some women seem to think so, but that's their problem).

what he said.... test drive their company..... You dont have to buy every car you test drive....

 

[Caleb's Tree]

I think she is putting the pressure on me...because she wants to be in a relationship with me...but I am not totally ready to be in one with her. She told me that she gets emotionally attached to a man once she sleeps with him....so...ehh...thats a problem...because I have only known her three weeks, and we banged like rabid rabbits after the 2nd date. The other girl I am far more interested in, but she's the cautious type...so...don't think I am getting the goods for a while...but she'd totally be worth the wait.

So the dilemna is how to let this girl down gently so she doesn't go into a chic rage. Both these girls are Facebook friends of mine...which is probably another dumb assed move I made....but neither know about the other. Had it not been for Facebook, I'd be able to be more discreet....but the one chic wants to be in a relationship and post it all over Facebook. I said No, I am a private person, and don't publicize my private life like that.

 

[brownbrown]

I think she is putting the pressure on me...because she wants to be in a relationship with me...but I am not totally ready to be in one with her. She told me that she gets emotionally attached to a man once she sleeps with him....so...ehh...thats a problem...because I have only known her three weeks, and we banged like rabid rabbits after the 2nd date. The other girl I am far more interested in, but she's the cautious type...so...don't think I am getting the goods for a while...but she'd totally be worth the wait.

So the dilemna is how to let this girl down gently so she doesn't go into a chic rage. Both these girls are Facebook friends of mine...which is probably another dumb assed move I made....but neither know about the other. Had it not been for Facebook, I'd be able to be more discreet....but the one chic wants to be in a relationship and post it all over Facebook. I said No, I am a private person, and don't publicize my private life like that.

HOLY CRAP!!!! You gave FB to both??
Hard to dump a chic, especially after sex....
Are you sure the chic you want , wants you? Because if chic 1 is blasting your business on FB, chic 2 has prolly seen it and is keeping it as ammo.....
FACEBOOK and playing the field is No Good.....
change your privacy settings of FB if you want a snowball in hell chance of chic 2.

 

[Caleb's Tree]

HOLY CRAP!!!! You gave FB to both??
Hard to dump a chic, especially after sex....
Are you sure the chic you want , wants you? Because if chic 1 is blasting your business on FB, chic 2 has prolly seen it and is keeping it as ammo.....
FACEBOOK and playing the field is No Good.....
change your privacy settings of FB if you want a snowball in hell chance of chic 2.

No nothing has been publicized. She just wanted to tag some photos. I think I have it under control. Sh1t like this happens though. Buds of mine used to tell me about getting dates randomly off of Facebook. I never really thought much about it till I was getting hit up myself.

What I did have in place was more or less a rule not to let chics I was fooling around with on Facebook, but these girls these days all ask to be on your Facebook....and it's kinda unavoidable. They are persistent.

My privacy settings are already set to "Friends Only" So that is at least making the best of a not so ideal situation. Chic number 2..that I am hot for...well...we have a date Friday night. You should see this girl. Black hair, piercing blue eyes, 5'9". It's been on and off for about 2 and a half months. There was an Ex knuckleheaded BF of hers that was short circuiting the whole thing...and during that time, Chic1 came in the picture. So I walked away from Chic2. Then Chic2 cleaned up her issues, and hit me up again to start seeing her again. The runway is clear now...so I plan on coming in for a landing at some point. Totally gaga over Chic2, but Chic1 is a nice girl, with a good heart, pretty, and intelligent...so...want to do this right.

I actually have feelings...believe it or not....and really don't like hurting anyone. I'm looking for a graceful way to ease out of the situation with Chic1. Probably should have never slept with her...but sh1t happens..and I have a crazy sex drive...so no one is laying next to me for very long without getting that "bump" in the middle of the night. LOL

 

[CheapPinz]

In my opinion, it sounds like you're not interested in finding a life partner..just someone to spend some fun times with and have sex with. No problem with that as long as you're both on the same page. One question you might not have considered is: what if the second girl is more demanding than the first? If it was me, I'd be evaluating my partner based on attraction, openmindedness, and tolerance to non-traditional behavior. Find a girl that wants to be friends with benefits and I think you'll both be happy. Find a girl looking for her future husband, and you're going to have lots of drama.
I'd be straight up open and say "I don't want a committment right now. I like you, but I'm young and I want to have my freedom. If you want me to be honest, you'll have to respect my needs at this time in my life. If you want to change me, you either need to realize you cant change anyone or you need to move on." ...If you open your relationship like that, you can remind her of this, and she doesn't have a leg to stand on when the monogomy and committment conversation comes up. If you don't do the above, drama drama drama....

 

[brownbrown]

/\/\/\/\/ well said pinz... well said /\/\/\/\/\ Sounded like a "Love Line" call.... need i say.. Dr. Drew-ish...

 

[CoBra666]

date em both till it all blows up or ends in a 3some. if u can get to end of summer you doubled your goal