By Age 30, how many people have you slept with?

[needtogetarmy]

Some people are just not into sex.

I went to counseling this past year because I was at a dead end with my wife. It didn't really help.

I've done a ton of reading on human sexuality since then (I am a finance college professor so I love empirical research) and 5-10% of the population just isn't into sex. The percentage is higher for females. My wife was fine the fist 2-3 years of our marriage then it changed. She doesn't masturbate, she doesn't have any (not one) sexual fantasy, isn't into lingerie (I can list everything you can think of - her answer is no). She is not on the pill now and I was going to get some flavored condoms a few months back just to have some fun and she was like 'why would you get those?' I even scheduled a vacation to the Bahamas this summer for a week just to get away and be alone and she said she didn't want to go. I've tried every trick in the book and nothing works.

The best thing about counseling (and reading up on all of this) is that I no longer blame myself. Being in this type of relationship can be very hard on ones self-confidence. I've been through hell.

If I didn't have kids I would probably be divorced. I am a very creative, open-minded, sexually adventurous type of person and it is very hard for me to be in this relationship. Also, I do not and will never cheat, no matter what. My best lover is my right hand. I wish I were joking.

 

[needtogetarmy]

...and this has been going on for the past 10 years. I've lost a decade off of my sexual prime.

 

[Rachel...lol]

Finance College Professor eh? My undergrad is in Finance ... too bad I didn't have you for a class.

 

[Wulfgar]

I'm not understanding why people don't want sex. I am also realizing that it is not working having sex with guys if they are not willing to eat your pussy and if they only want one position and are not willing to cater to your needs as well. Had this situation recently - it's like wtf? That's not good sex.

I wont eat bad pussy

well i take that back, I have taken one for the team from time to time... but anyways, ladies, keep ur shit nice and clean if u want the oralz

 

[Rachel...lol]

I wont eat bad pussy

well i take that back, I have taken one for the team from time to time... but anyways, ladies, keep ur shit nice and clean if u want the oralz

mine is so clean it's actually shining

 

[cuthroat]

mine is so clean it's actually shining

Rofl...thats good. I don't understand guy's that don't like going down. Thats one of my favorite parts about sex and I find it even more mind boggling/disappointing that there are womenz out there who don't like it. Wtf...

If I didn't have kids I would probably be divorced. I am a very creative, open-minded, sexually adventurous type of person and it is very hard for me to be in this relationship. Also, I do not and will never cheat, no matter what. My best lover is my right hand. I wish I were joking

This seems to be a pretty common and all I can ask people in your situation is WHY?

If other aspects of your relationship are fine I can understand making things work; however if you struggle in other areas as well there is no point in living a lie.

People often use their children as an excuse or a reason not to split; what I don't think people realize is that being a kid and growing up around two parents who don't get a long is VERY hard. I don't believe that divorce is as hard on kids as some parents believe. Weigh your options...you only have one life after all and every day you live is just one closer to your death.

 

[Rachel...lol]

Rofl...thats good. I don't understand guy's that don't like going down. Thats one of my favorite parts about sex and I find it even more mind boggling/disappointing that there are womenz out there who don't like it. Wtf...



This seems to be a pretty common and all I can ask people in your situation is WHY?

If other aspects of your relationship are fine I can understand making things work; however if you struggle in other areas as well there is no point in living a lie.

People often use their children as an excuse or a reason not to split; what I don't think people realize is that being a kid and growing up around two parents who don't get a long is VERY hard. I don't believe that divorce is as hard on kids as some parents believe. Weigh your options...you only have one life after all and every day you live is just one closer to your death.

i agree with you on this - if a couple can have such a strong bond, why can't they work on this aspect of their relationship?

 

[nangiggles]

Some people are just not into sex.

I went to counseling this past year because I was at a dead end with my wife. It didn't really help.

I've done a ton of reading on human sexuality since then (I am a finance college professor so I love empirical research) and 5-10% of the population just isn't into sex. The percentage is higher for females. My wife was fine the fist 2-3 years of our marriage then it changed. She doesn't masturbate, she doesn't have any (not one) sexual fantasy, isn't into lingerie (I can list everything you can think of - her answer is no). She is not on the pill now and I was going to get some flavored condoms a few months back just to have some fun and she was like 'why would you get those?' I even scheduled a vacation to the Bahamas this summer for a week just to get away and be alone and she said she didn't want to go. I've tried every trick in the book and nothing works.

The best thing about counseling (and reading up on all of this) is that I no longer blame myself. Being in this type of relationship can be very hard on ones self-confidence. I've been through hell, and I am literally laughing right now because I had bought us the K&Y his and hers and he said "why did you buy those?" and there they are sitting unopened on the shelf....

If I didn't have kids I would probably be divorced. I am a very creative, open-minded, sexually adventurous type of person and it is very hard for me to be in this relationship. Also, I do not and will never cheat, no matter what. My best lover is my right hand. I wish I were joking.

I get the self confidence blows, now imagine your wife's behavior on a man! As women we are taught men want sex at the drop of a hat so to me at the begining it was VERY dificult,I too now understand that it doesn't have to do with me, what I d or how I look... he doesnt masturbate either, he's not into laungerie or fantasies, he knows Im game for almost anything and still nothing....

I've done experiments of not initiating to see how long he can go without.... I caved in and initiated after over 3 months....

I too have never cheated and my suction cup is my best friend... he got really mad many moons ago when he found I had a sex "aid" which made me even angrier, deep down I was thinking WTF ur lucky it's rubber and not another dude....

i agree with you on this - if a couple can have such a strong bond, why can't they work on this aspect of their relationship?

Well this is my case, husband is great in almost every way... except that... I guess I put up with the low sex because all else is fine....

 

[needtogetarmy]

Finance College Professor eh? My undergrad is in Finance ... too bad I didn't have you for a class.

I would have given you an A lol

 

[needtogetarmy]

Rofl...thats good. I don't understand guy's that don't like going down. Thats one of my favorite parts about sex and I find it even more mind boggling/disappointing that there are womenz out there who don't like it. Wtf...



This seems to be a pretty common and all I can ask people in your situation is WHY?

If other aspects of your relationship are fine I can understand making things work; however if you struggle in other areas as well there is no point in living a lie.

People often use their children as an excuse or a reason not to split; what I don't think people realize is that being a kid and growing up around two parents who don't get a long is VERY hard. I don't believe that divorce is as hard on kids as some parents believe. Weigh your options...you only have one life after all and every day you live is just one closer to your death.

I'll be divorced one day if this doesn't change. Now is just not the right time.