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Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Your


Welcome to the EliteFitness.com Bodybuilding Site! Please join this discussion about Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Your within the Chat & Conversation category.

Excerpt: Penis. Inspired by the chap who got bit on the tip by a spider in a port-a-john.

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  1. #1
    Amateur Bodybuilder McSatan's Avatar
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    Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Your

    Penis. Inspired by the chap who got bit on the tip by a spider in a port-a-john.

  2. #2
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    Re: Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Your

    I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
    And my penis was missing again
    This happens all the time
    It's detachable
    This comes in handy a lot of the time
    I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble
    Or I can rent it out when I don't need it
    But now and then I go to a party
    Get drunk
    And the next the morning, I can't for the life of me
    Remember what I did with it
    First I looked around my apartment
    And I couldn't find it
    So I called up the place where the party was
    They hadn't seen it either
    I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
    'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
    But not this time
    So I told them if it pops up to let me know
    I called a few people who were at the party
    But they were no help either
    I was starting to get desperate
    I really don't like being without my penis for too long
    It makes me feel like less of a man
    And I really hate to having to sit down
    Every time I take a leak
    After a few hours of searching the house
    And calling everyone I could think of
    I was starting to get very depressed
    So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast
    Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place
    Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street
    I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven
    Some guy was selling it
    I had to buy it off him
    He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17
    I took it home, washed it off
    And put it back on
    I was happy again, complete
    People sometimes tell me
    I should get it permanently attached but I don't know
    Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass
    I like having a detachable penis

  3. #3
    MODERATOR wootoom's Avatar
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    Re: Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Your

    King missile?

  4. #4
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    Re: Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Your

    Of course, my love.

  5. #5
    MODERATOR wootoom's Avatar
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    Re: Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Your

    Pink mass is the only alter I'm considering keeping here.

  6. #6
    MODERATOR wootoom's Avatar
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    Re: Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Your

    Anyone who knows the lyrics to detachable penis is a good bro.

  7. #7
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    Re: Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Your

    I know the lyrics to their song "Martin Scorcese" as well.

  8. #8
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    Re: Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Your

    This ones called Martin Scorsese

    He makes the best fuckin' films
    He makes the best fuckin' films
    If I ever meet him
    I'm gonna grab his fuckin' neck and just shake him

    And say thank you, thank you for makin' such excellent fuckin' movies
    Then I'd twist his nose all the way the fuck around
    And then rip off one of his ears and throw it
    Like a, like a, like a fuckin' Frisbee

    I wanna chew his fuckin' lips off
    And grab his head and suck out one of his eyes
    And chew on it and spit it out in his face

    And say thank you, thank you for all of your fuckin' films

    Then I'd pick him up by the hair
    Swing him over my head a few times
    And throw across the room
    And kick all his fuckin' teeth in
    And then stomp on his face 40 or 50 times

    'Cuz he makes the best fuckin' films
    He makes the best fuckin' films
    I've ever seen in my life
    I fuckin' love him, I fuckin' love him

  9. #9
    MODERATOR wootoom's Avatar
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    Re: Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Your

    Pretty fucking stupid

  10. #10
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    Re: Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Your

    But does he make really great movies?
    Last edited by Pink Mass; 29-Apr-2016 at 05:20 PM. Reason: premature ejaculation

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