Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
.jpg "Research Chemical Sciences")
.png "Research Chemical Sciences")
Zirakzigil
New member
Ok, first of all, I'm not trying to be an ass. When you read this please remember that I am a weight lifter too.
Now. I hang around on a few forums on the web, but this one sticks out beyond the others in one feature. The aggression on tihs board is phenomenally high, in comparison. On no other board that I frequent do I see as many posts about people getting angry and wanting to fight someone else, about people getting angry and wanting to do stupid things that will get them jailed, and stuff like that. I mean you can think, probably, of at least 5 threads in the last couple days about this kind of thing. The impetuses (impetii?) for these angers are things like: cheating girlfriend, person said something disrespectful, person did something disrespectful (like cut you off while driving), etc.
Now, my first question is, why is there so much of that here? Possible hypotheses:
- Weight lifters are more aggressive.
- Weight lifters have a lifestyle that brings them more often, into situations like cheating.
- It's just a pathological condition of this board, i.e. this board just sees a lot of posts about it, but it's not necessarily that it occurs more often to people on this board.
- other?
Why do you think?
My second question is, why do you care what other people do? I understand in the case of a cheating girlfriend/boyfriend - let's just drop that because everyone that happens to has a right to be angry. But how about the other cases. So someone talks down to you. So someone cuts you off, narrowly missing you. So someone is saying mean stuff about you. Why does it matter? What purpose is served by getting so angry and steamed? Why not simply correct the problem, if the problem is correctable and needs to be corrected (e.g. people saying untrue things about you), or ignore it, if it isn't (e.g. someone cuts you off and drives away)? To put it differently, is there anything gained by getting angry and stressed in these situations? Especially in ones where you have no control over the consequences..? Is there anything gained by stressing out over these things, by getting so angry you actually fear doing something violent?
I'm just trying to get to the root of the problem here. It seems that face (as in, saving face), is a very important thing to most people on this board. I question why it is so important - can someone explain it to me? Another important thing, apparently, is getting even. I again question why this is so important - can someone explain it to me?
You can probably see my view here. Saving face, to me, is pointless. If someone insults me, I don't usually really care; I don't try to make a witty comeback, I don't get all stressed and angry. This is closely tied to getting even - if someone cuts me off in traffic, I don't have thoughts about shooting out their tires. I honk the horn to let them know they fucked up, and then I forget about it.
I think this is a much healther attitude, both personally and societally. Personally speaking, I probably experience far less stress because I just don't mind if someone massaged their ego at my expense. Societally speaking, the getting-even mentality leads, in extreme circumstances, to vigilantism, and even in nonextreme circumstances, to a less friendly society. We all make mistakes - when I make one I want to be told what it is I did wrong, I don't want to be harrassed about it.
Now I know this doesn't apply to all of you. As I said before, this is just a trend I saw on this board. I really don't see nearly as much of the saving-face and getting-even mentalities anywhere else.
My mom was an alcoholic. She was in al-anon and as I recall, there was this phrase that made a lot of sense "God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference. " I don't believe in God, but the phrase still makes a whole lot of sense to me (the God part is extraneous, really)
Well, tell me what you think
Now. I hang around on a few forums on the web, but this one sticks out beyond the others in one feature. The aggression on tihs board is phenomenally high, in comparison. On no other board that I frequent do I see as many posts about people getting angry and wanting to fight someone else, about people getting angry and wanting to do stupid things that will get them jailed, and stuff like that. I mean you can think, probably, of at least 5 threads in the last couple days about this kind of thing. The impetuses (impetii?) for these angers are things like: cheating girlfriend, person said something disrespectful, person did something disrespectful (like cut you off while driving), etc.
Now, my first question is, why is there so much of that here? Possible hypotheses:
- Weight lifters are more aggressive.
- Weight lifters have a lifestyle that brings them more often, into situations like cheating.
- It's just a pathological condition of this board, i.e. this board just sees a lot of posts about it, but it's not necessarily that it occurs more often to people on this board.
- other?
Why do you think?
My second question is, why do you care what other people do? I understand in the case of a cheating girlfriend/boyfriend - let's just drop that because everyone that happens to has a right to be angry. But how about the other cases. So someone talks down to you. So someone cuts you off, narrowly missing you. So someone is saying mean stuff about you. Why does it matter? What purpose is served by getting so angry and steamed? Why not simply correct the problem, if the problem is correctable and needs to be corrected (e.g. people saying untrue things about you), or ignore it, if it isn't (e.g. someone cuts you off and drives away)? To put it differently, is there anything gained by getting angry and stressed in these situations? Especially in ones where you have no control over the consequences..? Is there anything gained by stressing out over these things, by getting so angry you actually fear doing something violent?
I'm just trying to get to the root of the problem here. It seems that face (as in, saving face), is a very important thing to most people on this board. I question why it is so important - can someone explain it to me? Another important thing, apparently, is getting even. I again question why this is so important - can someone explain it to me?
You can probably see my view here. Saving face, to me, is pointless. If someone insults me, I don't usually really care; I don't try to make a witty comeback, I don't get all stressed and angry. This is closely tied to getting even - if someone cuts me off in traffic, I don't have thoughts about shooting out their tires. I honk the horn to let them know they fucked up, and then I forget about it.
I think this is a much healther attitude, both personally and societally. Personally speaking, I probably experience far less stress because I just don't mind if someone massaged their ego at my expense. Societally speaking, the getting-even mentality leads, in extreme circumstances, to vigilantism, and even in nonextreme circumstances, to a less friendly society. We all make mistakes - when I make one I want to be told what it is I did wrong, I don't want to be harrassed about it.
Now I know this doesn't apply to all of you. As I said before, this is just a trend I saw on this board. I really don't see nearly as much of the saving-face and getting-even mentalities anywhere else.
My mom was an alcoholic. She was in al-anon and as I recall, there was this phrase that made a lot of sense "God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference. " I don't believe in God, but the phrase still makes a whole lot of sense to me (the God part is extraneous, really)
Well, tell me what you think
