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Sassy69
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I signed up for the David DeAngelo newsletter after reading that some of you guys on the Sheets board have read his stuff for guidance on how to attract women. I wanted to see what the male perception of women is and see if it made sense (because women confuse me too...)
This was today's email and I thought it was incredibly accurate. What do you think?
What Annoys Women, AND What Attracts Them
If you listen to women talk about men, you'lloften hear them use the word "ANNOYING" todescribe certain men and certain things that somemen DO. Now, as you can probably guess, it's notusually a good thing when a woman uses thisparticular word to describe a guy... And, as you can ALSO probably guess, when awoman uses this particular word, it's not usuallyabout guys who she is ATTRACTED to (although thisisn't always true). Now, it's taken me a few years of payingattention to really get a handle on what women aretalking about when they say, "He's annoying" or"It's so annoying when he does that". And guess what I realized was at the ROOT ofwomen finding a guy or his behavior annoying? IT'S ALMOST ALWAYS WUSSY BEHAVIOR! AHHHH! THINGS THAT ANNOY WOMEN...
Here are some of the things that many women consider to be "annoying":
- Calling her too often
- Telling her that you have "feelings" for her too early
- Giving away your power to her and making her the boss
- Always asking a woman what she wants instead ofleading
- Acting submissive and weak
- Accepting her demands, bossyness, and manipulative requests
- Being her doormat and putting your own needsaside
"WHAT?" you say. "HOW COULD THIS BE?"... you might be thinking. How is it possible that demonstrating youraffection for a woman by calling her, telling herhow you feel, letting her make the decisions, andputting her first could be considered ANNOYING, ofall things? Well guess what? IT IS. Women, and ESPECIALLY the most ATTRACTIVE and desirable women, usually consider the above thing sto be VERY annoying. Of course, the reason for this is because no matter how good these kinds of behaviors seem onthe surface, there's only one conclusion that can be drawn from them:
THE MAN DOING THEM IS A BONAFIDE, 100% CERTIFIABLE WUSSY! AND WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.
NEVER.
Now, do I really, really, REALLY mean that women are NEVER, EVER attracted to Wussies? I mean, isn't that an over-generalization? Nothing is always true, right? Well, this one IS. Actually, what I MEAN is... As far as generalizations go, this particularone is as close to being true all the time as theyget. And just in case I haven't said this enough,let me say it one more time... just to make sure it's clear:
WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.
So now you understand why all of the "nice"things that you've done for women seem to always result in the woman pulling away. It's because she finds your nice-guy "Wuss"behaviors to be ANNOYING. AND IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE... To further confuse things, you'll often hear awoman say something to the effect of... "I want a STRONG guy who is also SENSITIVE..." ...or... "He needs to have his own life, his owninterests, and his own friends, but also be totally focused on me..."
I see things like this in women's personal adsall the time. I'm sure you've seen things like this yourself. Women often talk about wanting a combination ofthings in a man that just don't seem to fit... So what's going on here? Are women crazy? (Yes.
) But seriously, what are they talking about? How is it that women seem to always talk aboutwanting men who have these qualities that don't fit together?
I know that I personally used to hear this stuff and then say to myself "OK, well I've gotthe sensitive part covered so I guess I need tostart acting a little bit stronger." I thought that maybe this came down to getting my lazy ass to the gym and working out. You know,to become "stronger". No, I'm serious.
Well, here's the BIG REALIZATION that I had... I've now realized that I had it all wrong. Instead of thinking to myself that I was anice, sensitive guy that needed to become a littlestronger, what I really needed was to become astrong guy who could also act sensitive onoccasion. The difference seems almost like word-play, but it's not. Not at all. You see, when a woman says that she wants a "strong guy who's also sensitive", that's what she MEANS. She wants a guy who's STRONG. The sensitivepart is far more "optional" than the STRONG part. This is why women often date jerks and guys whoare emotionally unavailable, and don't date us "nice guys" who would do anything for them.
Remember, ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE. Women do not sit down and make a list of thequalities that a particular guy has, then think itover it for a few days, then DECIDE whether or notto FEEL ATTRACTION. NO WAY. It happens in an INSTANT, and it happens forall kinds of "illogical" reasons... reasons thateven the woman who is feeling it can't usuallydescribe. So what's the answer here? Before I tell you... if you are reading thesewords I'm saying, and you're thinking to yourself" Yes! This is my problem!" then I want you to goDIRECTLY to this link before you read any further: ** link removed to not promote non EF sponsors ** The answer here is to realize that many of thethings you do when you're around women that you feel attracted to, are considered ANNOYING by those women. You must understand that you sometimes have to do things that SEEM to be "inconsiderate" in orderto give a woman what she REALLY wants (which is aman who is in control of himself, the situation,and often her). Raise your right hand, and repeat after me... "I will stop being a Wussy around women." "I will stop being a Wussy around women." "I will stop being a Wussy around women." Stop doing things that say "I'm a Wussy", because those are the very things that women find ANNOYING. And START doing the things that you're learninghere. Lean back. Act Cocky & Funny around women. Bust on them and give them a hard time. And LEAD the way, don't follow. Now, one of the problems that a lot of guys runinto is "putting together" different personality traits that don't seem to go together. Women say that they want guys who are funny...but also strong.
Many of the things women SAY they want seeml ike they CONFLICT with each other. What's a guy to do? Well, THE FIRST thing a guy should do is learnwhat WORKS. Not what SOUNDS like it might work. Not what SHOULD work. And not what is SUPPOSED to work. LEARN WHAT WORKS. I personally spent several years trying tofigure out what "works". Why did it take me solong? Because, as it turns out, I started out with aHUGE disadvantage. And I'm not talking about a disadvantage like abig nose (which I have). I'm talking about a disadvantage like BADPROGRAMMING. I had a "map" in my mind... of how I thought Ishould behave around women... and it turned out tobe THE WRONG MAP. The most frustrating part was that when I didthe things that SHOULD work, they made women UN-interested. It was as if the world wasn't working right. I would be sweet and nice, and a woman would not want to talk to me. I would call often and share my feelings withher, and she would fall for the rude jerk whocould care less about treating her well.
Well, as you might already know, sometimes I'ma "glutton for punishment". Translation: I stuck with it anyway. I kept trying to figure out what works... even though thethings I was doing WEREN'T working. The magic "breakthrough" came ONLY after I started making friends with and watching guys whowere VERY successful with women... then putting what I knew about psychology and behavior togetherwith the NEW stuff I was learning "in the field". What I discovered was literally SHOCKING to me. I can remember slapping myself on the forehead,shaking my noggin, and laughing to myself... as I watched some of my new friends who were good withwomen... doing things that just plain SHOULDN'Twork... but that DID work.
Here's one of the lessons I learned:
Body Language is more important than WORD language. In fact, you can have the smoothest "pick uplines" in the world... but if you don't understand Body Language, the woman you're talking to CAN'T feel ATTRACTION for you.
Here's another one: Doing "nice" things for a woman doesn't make her any more likely to feel ATTRACTION for you. Infact, most of these things BACKFIRE... and wind uppushing her AWAY.
Here's a third lesson I learned: Even though "jerks" and "bad boys" don't treat women well, doesn't mean that women don't feel ATTRACTION for them. In fact, women often report feeling INCREDIBLY attracted to these kinds of men... so powerfully, in fact, that they can't CONTROL these feelings...
As I was learning these interesting and "counter intuitive" lessons, I also began documenting the specific things that the guys whowere "naturals" with women did... in order toattract women. One of my BIGGEST realizations was that literally ANY guy can attract women... if he just understands how ATTRACTION works. And any guy can use the secrets that "jerks"a nd "bad boys" have discovered and used... WITHOUT being abusive or mean. In fact, if you LEAVE OUT the meanness or abuse, a woman will be FAR more likely to STAY around.
This was today's email and I thought it was incredibly accurate. What do you think?
What Annoys Women, AND What Attracts Them
If you listen to women talk about men, you'lloften hear them use the word "ANNOYING" todescribe certain men and certain things that somemen DO. Now, as you can probably guess, it's notusually a good thing when a woman uses thisparticular word to describe a guy... And, as you can ALSO probably guess, when awoman uses this particular word, it's not usuallyabout guys who she is ATTRACTED to (although thisisn't always true). Now, it's taken me a few years of payingattention to really get a handle on what women aretalking about when they say, "He's annoying" or"It's so annoying when he does that". And guess what I realized was at the ROOT ofwomen finding a guy or his behavior annoying? IT'S ALMOST ALWAYS WUSSY BEHAVIOR! AHHHH! THINGS THAT ANNOY WOMEN...
Here are some of the things that many women consider to be "annoying":
- Calling her too often
- Telling her that you have "feelings" for her too early
- Giving away your power to her and making her the boss
- Always asking a woman what she wants instead ofleading
- Acting submissive and weak
- Accepting her demands, bossyness, and manipulative requests
- Being her doormat and putting your own needsaside
"WHAT?" you say. "HOW COULD THIS BE?"... you might be thinking. How is it possible that demonstrating youraffection for a woman by calling her, telling herhow you feel, letting her make the decisions, andputting her first could be considered ANNOYING, ofall things? Well guess what? IT IS. Women, and ESPECIALLY the most ATTRACTIVE and desirable women, usually consider the above thing sto be VERY annoying. Of course, the reason for this is because no matter how good these kinds of behaviors seem onthe surface, there's only one conclusion that can be drawn from them:
THE MAN DOING THEM IS A BONAFIDE, 100% CERTIFIABLE WUSSY! AND WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.
NEVER.
Now, do I really, really, REALLY mean that women are NEVER, EVER attracted to Wussies? I mean, isn't that an over-generalization? Nothing is always true, right? Well, this one IS. Actually, what I MEAN is... As far as generalizations go, this particularone is as close to being true all the time as theyget. And just in case I haven't said this enough,let me say it one more time... just to make sure it's clear:
WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.
So now you understand why all of the "nice"things that you've done for women seem to always result in the woman pulling away. It's because she finds your nice-guy "Wuss"behaviors to be ANNOYING. AND IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE... To further confuse things, you'll often hear awoman say something to the effect of... "I want a STRONG guy who is also SENSITIVE..." ...or... "He needs to have his own life, his owninterests, and his own friends, but also be totally focused on me..."
I see things like this in women's personal adsall the time. I'm sure you've seen things like this yourself. Women often talk about wanting a combination ofthings in a man that just don't seem to fit... So what's going on here? Are women crazy? (Yes.
) But seriously, what are they talking about? How is it that women seem to always talk aboutwanting men who have these qualities that don't fit together? I know that I personally used to hear this stuff and then say to myself "OK, well I've gotthe sensitive part covered so I guess I need tostart acting a little bit stronger." I thought that maybe this came down to getting my lazy ass to the gym and working out. You know,to become "stronger". No, I'm serious.
Well, here's the BIG REALIZATION that I had... I've now realized that I had it all wrong. Instead of thinking to myself that I was anice, sensitive guy that needed to become a littlestronger, what I really needed was to become astrong guy who could also act sensitive onoccasion. The difference seems almost like word-play, but it's not. Not at all. You see, when a woman says that she wants a "strong guy who's also sensitive", that's what she MEANS. She wants a guy who's STRONG. The sensitivepart is far more "optional" than the STRONG part. This is why women often date jerks and guys whoare emotionally unavailable, and don't date us "nice guys" who would do anything for them.
Remember, ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE. Women do not sit down and make a list of thequalities that a particular guy has, then think itover it for a few days, then DECIDE whether or notto FEEL ATTRACTION. NO WAY. It happens in an INSTANT, and it happens forall kinds of "illogical" reasons... reasons thateven the woman who is feeling it can't usuallydescribe. So what's the answer here? Before I tell you... if you are reading thesewords I'm saying, and you're thinking to yourself" Yes! This is my problem!" then I want you to goDIRECTLY to this link before you read any further: ** link removed to not promote non EF sponsors ** The answer here is to realize that many of thethings you do when you're around women that you feel attracted to, are considered ANNOYING by those women. You must understand that you sometimes have to do things that SEEM to be "inconsiderate" in orderto give a woman what she REALLY wants (which is aman who is in control of himself, the situation,and often her). Raise your right hand, and repeat after me... "I will stop being a Wussy around women." "I will stop being a Wussy around women." "I will stop being a Wussy around women." Stop doing things that say "I'm a Wussy", because those are the very things that women find ANNOYING. And START doing the things that you're learninghere. Lean back. Act Cocky & Funny around women. Bust on them and give them a hard time. And LEAD the way, don't follow. Now, one of the problems that a lot of guys runinto is "putting together" different personality traits that don't seem to go together. Women say that they want guys who are funny...but also strong.
Many of the things women SAY they want seeml ike they CONFLICT with each other. What's a guy to do? Well, THE FIRST thing a guy should do is learnwhat WORKS. Not what SOUNDS like it might work. Not what SHOULD work. And not what is SUPPOSED to work. LEARN WHAT WORKS. I personally spent several years trying tofigure out what "works". Why did it take me solong? Because, as it turns out, I started out with aHUGE disadvantage. And I'm not talking about a disadvantage like abig nose (which I have). I'm talking about a disadvantage like BADPROGRAMMING. I had a "map" in my mind... of how I thought Ishould behave around women... and it turned out tobe THE WRONG MAP. The most frustrating part was that when I didthe things that SHOULD work, they made women UN-interested. It was as if the world wasn't working right. I would be sweet and nice, and a woman would not want to talk to me. I would call often and share my feelings withher, and she would fall for the rude jerk whocould care less about treating her well.
Well, as you might already know, sometimes I'ma "glutton for punishment". Translation: I stuck with it anyway. I kept trying to figure out what works... even though thethings I was doing WEREN'T working. The magic "breakthrough" came ONLY after I started making friends with and watching guys whowere VERY successful with women... then putting what I knew about psychology and behavior togetherwith the NEW stuff I was learning "in the field". What I discovered was literally SHOCKING to me. I can remember slapping myself on the forehead,shaking my noggin, and laughing to myself... as I watched some of my new friends who were good withwomen... doing things that just plain SHOULDN'Twork... but that DID work.
Here's one of the lessons I learned:
Body Language is more important than WORD language. In fact, you can have the smoothest "pick uplines" in the world... but if you don't understand Body Language, the woman you're talking to CAN'T feel ATTRACTION for you.
Here's another one: Doing "nice" things for a woman doesn't make her any more likely to feel ATTRACTION for you. Infact, most of these things BACKFIRE... and wind uppushing her AWAY.
Here's a third lesson I learned: Even though "jerks" and "bad boys" don't treat women well, doesn't mean that women don't feel ATTRACTION for them. In fact, women often report feeling INCREDIBLY attracted to these kinds of men... so powerfully, in fact, that they can't CONTROL these feelings...
As I was learning these interesting and "counter intuitive" lessons, I also began documenting the specific things that the guys whowere "naturals" with women did... in order toattract women. One of my BIGGEST realizations was that literally ANY guy can attract women... if he just understands how ATTRACTION works. And any guy can use the secrets that "jerks"a nd "bad boys" have discovered and used... WITHOUT being abusive or mean. In fact, if you LEAVE OUT the meanness or abuse, a woman will be FAR more likely to STAY around.
