My teenage son

[burnthiscorpse]

Not trying to be a dick here, but maybe he's so in "love" with this girl because of his home situation. If his dad really is the douche you say he is, then your kids can see it, and may be looking for family in other places.

Maybe it is time to let blueshirt into his life some more. A teenage boy would probably listen to a grown mans advice.

Another point of view from an adult male could be very valuable IF the kid respects him. Ha ing a shit pile for a dad is definatley an influence even if he isn't concious of it. I agree with Woody, get the bf involved.

 

[dabuffguy]

But my real question is...


How do I approach her parents?

I want that girl on birthcontrol. I know some of you guys have daughters. How do I talk to the parents in a way that will convince them to take some kind of action.

It's simple. Go to their house, knock on the door, tell them what you know and what your concerns are, and if they are any decent kind of parent, they will be appreciative of you talking to them and work with you to keep both kids in line and out of trouble.

Don't be hesitant, because you are doing this for your son because you love him. And since this girl is involved, you should care enough about your son's girl to keep your son's pecker out of her body as well.

 

[just...v]

That is good advice.

You try not to be the type of woman that seeks other men to raise your son. But reality is, I'm not a man and I have two boys. They could really use a positive male role model in their lives.

BlueShirt is willing. He is the one that keeps suggesting I bring the boys to the gym to workout with us. He has been seeing them every week lately.

 

[just...v]

It's simple. Go to their house, knock on the door, tell them what you know and what your concerns are, and if they are any decent kind of parent, they will be appreciative of you talking to them and work with you to keep both kids in line and out of trouble.

Don't be hesitant, because you are doing this for your son because you love him. And since this girl is involved, you should care enough about your son's girl to keep your son's pecker out of her body as well.

I'm sure they do, but I want her on BC.

I just finished talking to him. I told him I read the texts and I know stuff happened. He insisted it went that far just once. I told him that he is too young. He needs to wait. And if he does love her like he says, he will wait. I explained that he will complicate his relationship with her and those complications could cause it to end.

He kept saying that they weren't gonna do it. He said she isnt ready and he is ok with that. I told him he isn't ready either. He said he knew. I told him part of being a man is showing restraint. He kept insisting he wasn't gonna do it and he knew they were too young. I hope he isn't telling me what I want to hear.

 

[dabuffguy]

That is good advice.

You try not to be the type of woman that seeks other men to raise your son. But reality is, I'm not a man and I have two boys. They could really use a positive male role model in their lives.

BlueShirt is willing. He is the one that keeps suggesting I bring the boys to the gym to workout with us. He has been seeing them every week lately.

I've been that guy before, and am currently that guy.

I can tell you from being that guy, that I have thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm not a disciplinarian, because that's a parents job, but I lead by example. I don't cuss in front of them, I expect them to always be polite when they are with me, and I also point out situations and teach them how to think about those things. I also make sure I thank them when they extend courtesy to another like holding a door while entering/exiting a restaurant or store or tell them to do it if it's not habit. I've had both these boys at times hug me and tell me how much they love me and I also do the same. Of course, we're family and maybe saying "I love you" isn't appropriate or comfortable with BlueShirt. Have him teach them how to do guy stuff, lift weights, work on a car or bike, shoot guns, go to sporting events and have video game nights with the boys. Anything they like to do, and it opens up the door for teaching them how to behave in a way that commands respect and admiration for being a person of integrity and valor.

BlueShirt will also learn some life lessons.

I used to be a tempermental, impatient prick and since growing close to my 14yo cousin these last couple years I have turned into much more of a gentle, yet still masculine person. Not only have I been a support and guidance to him, but he has also made me a much better person through striving to be that good example and wanting him to have someone like that to look to because honestly, I love that kid more than anyone else. His parents thank me for being a good role model and a "big brother".

 

[hardrock]

Of course he is. We all did the same thing. As soon as the door shut we were back trying to get in those pants.

You will not convince him to wait. He will do whatever she allows.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using EliteFitness

 

[dabuffguy]

I'm sure they do, but I want her on BC.

I just finished talking to him. I told him I read the texts and I know stuff happened. He insisted it went that far just once. I told him that he is too young. He needs to wait. And if he does love her like he says, he will wait. I explained that he will complicate his relationship with her and those complications could cause it to end.

He kept saying that they weren't gonna do it. He said she isnt ready and he is ok with that. I told him he isn't ready either. He said he knew. I told him part of being a man is showing restraint. He kept insisting he wasn't gonna do it and he knew they were too young. I hope he isn't telling me what I want to hear.

I had the same conversation 5 years ago, and they ended up doing it anyways. I still remember the text I saw on his phone:

"You're lucky your so darn cute that I just have to fall into whatever you want me to do."

This is the mind of a lovestruck horny boy.

I called him on it, and asked him specifically if he would have sex with her if she wanted. Of course he said no, but they did anyways months later, and did it often.

I hope that your son was sincere, and since I don't know him nor did I hear his tone in response, I will say that you need to be the one to determine whether or not he was sincere. Ignore any impulse that tells you to deny your son would lie to you in an important conversation, and be objective. If he really was sincere, then you have made progress.

The next step is to talk with her parents. Sooner rather than later.

Also, tonight, kiss your son while he's in bed and tell him you love him.

 

[SpyWizard]

I'm sure they do, but I want her on BC.

I just finished talking to him. I told him I read the texts and I know stuff happened. He insisted it went that far just once. I told him that he is too young. He needs to wait. And if he does love her like he says, he will wait. I explained that he will complicate his relationship with her and those complications could cause it to end.

He kept saying that they weren't gonna do it. He said she isnt ready and he is ok with that. I told him he isn't ready either. He said he knew. I told him part of being a man is showing restraint. He kept insisting he wasn't gonna do it and he knew they were too young. I hope he isn't telling me what I want to hear.

or you'll take his phone again right?? looks like he's already learned that lesson..

good luck, the girls father may freak out on her and threaten your son with statutory rape.. depending on your states laws..

just sayin

 

[dabuffguy]

or you'll take his phone again right?? looks like he's already learned that lesson..

Why are you under the impression that every teen will respond to discipline by learning how to lie and sneak around more stealthily or turn to some other form of wayward behavior?

 

[smurf2]

I agree with the virgin