My Great Dane Just raped me! Help! Goddamn that hurts! GEt off me fleabag! No joke

[rsnoble]

Ok ok, dont get to excited enemies. Here what happens: just got done with 2nd work out of day, start drinkin, go to bar for post workout meal(20ozstrip and all fixins) drink about 12 beers, come home, slam some more, let SirBoo out of the pin, go to shop, drink more. im there like 20minutes in come monster dog and jumps up on me with his face in mine like always. cept this time i stumble back over angle iron on floor im gonna weld in mornin and fall down sittin up with legs out in front. This big black mofo mounts me from behind, wraps legs around my neck and starts humpin me hard and i feel this big hard thing stickin me in the middle of my back. i start laughin and try to get up and this mofo marmaduke wanabe bites the fuck out of my neck and wont let go! so by this time i try to stand up(despite 500+lb squat) and fall to knees now and i feel this red rocket pokin right where my asshole is thank god I have jeans on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!meanwhile im screamin bloody fuckin murder and finally get to drunk feet and smack fuck out of this asshole, grab his collar and twist till his black face is blue and drag him to his fucking pin and kick him in his fat ass. Then I brought him 1gallon food and 3 cans pedigree and my steak bone. Gotta love him. He just needs to know the diff. Actually he just needs a bitch. Anyone here gotta female they wanna bring over? Please!!! I was gonna breed him and selll pups fukin forget it he is to much.

Ps..only a real man would admit to this so help yourselves.

 

[Testosterone boy]

ru sure that u did not enjoy it?

 

[strangebrew]

Yeah I remember the first time I had sex with a dog. Good times.

 

[rsnoble]

Yeah I remember the first time I had sex with a dog. Good times.

trust me, you dont even have to use peanut butter with this mothefuker.

 

[argent]

OMG that is the funniest shit. I might make that whole thing my signature. The moral of the story is don't leave angle iron around to be tripped on. At least you wern't hurt.

 

[Frackal]

was it biting your neck hard of playful

 

[rsnoble]

the back of my shirt is still wet and my jeans in the wash. this fukin dog is the best of all time. dont get wrong idea. god, youd justhave to meet him. just dont trip! he cant help it, only 2years old and no females around except my pit and shes been fixed but he still likes to stick his nose up her cooch to her detest. maybe i could hire my queer neighbor to jack him off once a week or something. he justneeds his balls cut. now hes full grown and vet wants 350+ to do it fukin shit!! mofo rip off! oh well better than red rocket red rocket! this sob has permanet lip stick.

 

[miplank]

Re: My Great Dane Just raped me! Help! Goddamn that hurts! GEt off me fleabag! No

I'm hard as fuck

 

[wootoom]

Strangebrew was a good bro