Hilarious thread ... been there, camel toe and all that.
You folks should check out LRG or Sean John ( i know, i know) jeans. Or for more conventional stuff Levi's 559. Lucky makes some relaxed fit jeans that are a good fit too (though my last pair wore out within a year, which is not good for jeans). You can find all these at Macys (except Lucky which is carried by Nordstrom).