i've felt rather detached from earth/life as of late

[decem]

detached.

detached from this world and from my physical form.

that describes exactly how i've felt for the previous 2 weeks. i look at the sky and horizon and see the curvature of the earth; everything seems so small.

all these people are so caught up in what goes on the physical realm, yet i've somehow detached myself, and can no longer produce "feelings" for anything in it.

i've not felt emotion since doing this. no sadness or happiness. no anger or fear. no fear, not even of death, which the only good that has come out of recent revelations. not that i've ever really feared death before.

but all the other effects have been negative. it's left me almost wanting to do nothing. i still do things, but when i do i'm just sort of going through the motions. i no longer see my body as my body, but rather as the earth-bound physical vehicle for something else. i've been thrust into this body and made to live here on this earth and enjoy it or suffer on it, yet by realizing this i'm no longer able to do so.

i no longer get caught up in earthly endeavors or pastimes or work or emotions or life, but i've yet to learn whether or not this is a "blessing" or a "curse."

i'm not even sure what brought all this about. was it reading more buddhist teachings? was it multitudes of internal dialog debating with myself the varying philosophies of death and dying as well as "right" and "wrong" between actions and behaviors produced through conscious interactions versus the actions and behaviors brought about by innate living? perhaps a large part is due to reading texts and watching television programs on space and galaxies and the universe and the search for life.

i'm not sure what brought this detachment about, nor do i know whether it will lead to a happiness on earth that i have yet to experience or to spending the rest of my life in an emotionless state, feeling nothing for nothing and noone.




weird.

 

[HappyScrappy]

Got a quarter tank of gas - in my new E class (In My E-Class Benz)
Cause that's alright, cause I'm gon' ride (Hmm-Mmm)
Got everythang - in my momma name (We Got Everythang, In My Momma Name)
But I'm Hood Rich - dadah-dadah da-dah da-dah da-dah (Uh-Huh!)

 

[MrMuscle]

marriage will do that to you

 

[Lao Tzu]

In all honesty, stay away from cults. You would be slim pickins for a cult recruiter right now.

lack of identity
major life change
searching for spiritual answers



I know how you feel though. I get weird detachments too. My only fear is i will have a PCP like trip where i lose interest in the 'social' laws, and make an ass of myself.

 

[CrimsonKing]

marriage will do that to you

LMAO

Welcome the toe world of the Married.. Just wait until Children enter the equation!

 

[rippedtrojan]

marriage will do that to you

goats too

(not that i know personally)

 

[TxLonghorn]

marriage will do that to you

That's exactly what I was thinking. It sounds like there are some major life decisions that you need to make, however painful they may be to make.

 

[decem]

i'm not searching for any spiritual answers.. i've found them.. and that's part of the issue.. and no i would not be slim pickens for a cult recruiter right now.. now my starting one on the other hand.. that could be doable..

as for lack of identity.. that too is out of the equation. i've always held strong to my own identity.. doing what i want when i want all the time.. and now i fear i may know too much..

major life change.. no... i'm pretty immune to those too.. i grew up moving back and forth from ohio to florida.. then the military.. then out of the military.. i'm fine whether i'm unemployed and sleeping on a friend's floor or owning my own house and making good money in a secure job..

i don't think you guys get it.. i've found the answers.. and that's exactly why i'm detached..

 

[john937]

When I studied with a Zen master, he often said his favorite was when his students were the most confused, cause that meant they were growing.
When his students felt balanced, knew the answers, feeling right with the world, from his standpoint that meant they were stuck.

 

[decem]

that could be.. i could be stuck..

did he ever say how to get unstuck?



btw... didn't you and i have a debate as to whether the "zen master" you "studied under" was a crack pot or not.. as well as how much you really knew about buddhism? aren't you the guy that went from christianity to buddhism back to christianity? (<--- i'm not saying that's a bad thing.. just using so i can reference our conversations and remember who you are)