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How soon is too soon to move in with someone your dating?

bigmann245

New member
By now most people on here know Im getting divorced... I emotionally detached from my wife about a year or so ago and we haven't lived with each other for several months. well during that time I met someone. she owns 3 businesses and is pretty well off. We met a few months ago but didnt start dating until a month and a half ago. well things didnt go right for my wife where she and our son were living so she needed to move back in to my place. Well the girl I am dating asked me to move in with her so I did yesterday. I told her its temporary because I dont want to move that fast but she wants me to stay.... rent free... i dont want to stay here and have it hurt our relationship which is going outstanding btw... but to live here rent free i really cant do. i feel like im taking advantage of the situation. ive dated 2 other women before her so im hoping this isnt a rebound like the other ones were. i really care for this woman and dont want anything to ruin it.

what are your thoughts on this? should I stay or should I go? she said she would be real upset if i went somewhere else. i dont know what to do. all i know is we make each other very happy and enjoy spending a lot of time together but i dont want to get burned out too quick.
 
youve crossed the line into living with each other already so any notion of not moving fast just went out the door. If you move back out in her mind that might almost seem like you are breaking up. Depends on how old both of you are also, if you are both 23 it would be much harder than if you were both 35. Once you move in with someone its very hard to undo without changing the dynamic of the relationship in some way. Kind of like getting engaged then one of you says "lets wait until later to get married" when you both agreed to a sooner time.
 
General knowledge dictates that this is a bad situation waiting to happen.

On the other hand, you know our story, Bigmann.... Our first date lasted two weeks. Couple weeks later we had our second date which lasted two weeks. Couple weeks later we were married... on our third date.

Now nearly 3 years later we have been riding the rollercoaster from hell but it wasn't because we aren't a good match but rather because of our circumstances (on his end the ugliness of getting screwed by that woman who he was living with before we met, on my end the dealings with my ex and n BOTH our ends it was financially getting screwed by all of the vultures).

Ya'll are both grown. As long as your son is A number 1 priority for you and your soon2b exwife (which it seems to be) and this new lady *gets that* then I don't see what the issue is.

I hope that you will find the happiness that you deserve (and wish the same for your ex).... this way it is a win/win situation for your son. :)
 
Too soon but you're already there.
Tough call now because you'd probably spend just as much time at eachother's place but that's what I'd do. Move out.
 
youve crossed the line into living with each other already so any notion of not moving fast just went out the door. If you move back out in her mind that might almost seem like you are breaking up. Depends on how old both of you are also, if you are both 23 it would be much harder than if you were both 35. Once you move in with someone its very hard to undo without changing the dynamic of the relationship in some way. Kind of like getting engaged then one of you says "lets wait until later to get married" when you both agreed to a sooner time.


shes 32 and im 34 but i see what your saying... i like it here. ive been here every night for the past week and a half anyway so i figured why not stay here.
 
PS - are your finances so bad that you can't contribute something to the rent/utilities/food? And I do know that the answer might be, "Yes". But if that is the case RIGHT NOW then pick up the slack by doing more maintenance or doing other things for her in lieu of $. And once you CAN contribuite financially, just do it.

If this woman sees your value as a life mate then she will 100% understand you being in a financial bind RIGHT NOW.

Hell, you also know I married a man who had A TON of cash when we started dating but who had NO MONEY OR ASSETS when I married him.
 
By now most people on here know Im getting divorced... I emotionally detached from my wife about a year or so ago and we haven't lived with each other for several months. well during that time I met someone. she owns 3 businesses and is pretty well off. We met a few months ago but didnt start dating until a month and a half ago. well things didnt go right for my wife where she and our son were living so she needed to move back in to my place. Well the girl I am dating asked me to move in with her so I did yesterday. I told her its temporary because I dont want to move that fast but she wants me to stay.... rent free... i dont want to stay here and have it hurt our relationship which is going outstanding btw... but to live here rent free i really cant do. i feel like im taking advantage of the situation. ive dated 2 other women before her so im hoping this isnt a rebound like the other ones were. i really care for this woman and dont want anything to ruin it.

what are your thoughts on this? should I stay or should I go? she said she would be real upset if i went somewhere else. i dont know what to do. all i know is we make each other very happy and enjoy spending a lot of time together but i dont want to get burned out too quick.


If you want to "add to the relationship" money doesn't seem to mean that much to her.. however a maid service, and lawn service would be a way you could contribute..

Or you can save that money and buy a cruise or great vacation for her and you to go on..

see.. there are many ways for you to "add" to the relationship..
 
shes 32 and im 34 but i see what your saying... i like it here. ive been here every night for the past week and a half anyway so i figured why not stay here.

I would just stay but pay rent of course. dont want anything she can hold over you, and you also want your pride/dignity intact of course. you guys are over 30 so should be ok. but then again she is a woman.
 
do you have kids? if you have kids its to soon..you cant just bring the kids over to the new moms house that isnt right..if no kids then fuck it.. divorce is messy and if someone ifs gonna give ya a hand then id take it but id also make sure they know u appreciatte it and i would work on doing somethign for them to show you care and not just using them...
 
If you want to "add to the relationship" money doesn't seem to mean that much to her.. however a maid service, and lawn service would be a way you could contribute..

Or you can save that money and buy a cruise or great vacation for her and you to go on..

see.. there are many ways for you to "add" to the relationship..

^^ What he said. Obviously though you may be down financially now, she sees that you are not a simp or a freeloader or incapable of being a valued partner in many aspects of life... or at least she TRUSTS that you aren't. She hasn't really known you long enough to see for herself to be fair.

Time will prove out that either her trusting you was a good thing, or not.... hether you continue to reside with her or not.
 
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