DEADLIFT RANT
Deadlifts.
The sound of it alone brings a cringe to the hardcore lifters, the Brother's of Iron know this to be true.
Most never will.
Deadlifts.
The grunts, screams...the light-headed feeling on that last heavy set.
Deadlifts!
Stretch was doing deadlifts today, you know the spot....The one way in the back. Yeah, that's it.
The one where just a handful venture.
The spot where they come out looking half dead, bloody shins, the one where chalk dust and blood, stain the palms.....Yup, that's the spot!
Stretch was almost finished. His last set coming up. I have to admit, I love watching a man like Stretch push himself to the limits. To see those traps swell under the strain, the " Oh my God, a turtle just poked his head out of my shorts " look. That glazed look in the eyes of someone who is truly in the " Zone "!!
I love it!!
This young kid was sitting on the flat bench watching Stretch, nothing else, just watching. Maybe it was curiosity, perhaps awe. More than likely it was the look of watching a crazy man do something he had never seen.
He kept watching as Stretch put the belt on. He was watching as he tightened it down until he was a walking hourglass figure of a man....He kept watching.
So did I.
Stretch was panting now, the " Zone " coming up. Then he walked over to the kid. I listened in fascination, knowing now why I chose such a good workout partner.
"What are you lookin at"? Stretch panted between clenched teeth.
"You ain't never seen anyone doing deadlifts have you."
"You ain't never seen a set of bloody scarred shins attached to 245 pounds of maximum performance." Stretch growled on a roll.
"You still lookin? That's right son...Look"!
"You ain't never seen a BROTHER OF IRON. You ain't never seen a dude superset deadlifts into flat benches, all with weights that would make you cry! You ain't never seen a power rack at the gym you been working out at for the last 4 years"!
" You still look'in at me??!!"
"Maybe you should head back to your eliptical machine and take a pilates class with your fellow aerobaheads. Maybe you should stop lookin at Old Boy Stretch".
"You still lookin?!" Stretch asked flexing his traps.
"You probably never seen anyone throw up in a bucket after squatt'in either. You will never really know why they call them nosebreakers, will you? You will never need a spot at the bench because you will never tap into the beast who commands you to get the weight up by any means necessary!"
"Hey son, you still looking at me??!!"
" Oh , now you want to spot me? Sorry son, Old Boy Stretch ain't tak'in no spot from spandex boy!"
"Damn it Son! You still lookin??!!"
" I'll tell you what, when you stop ask'in that weak spot in your mind why I do this to myself, maybe i'll let you spot me. On second thought... Nah, Old Boy Stretch would rather let the weight cut me in two, rather than have spandex boy seen trying to hang with a BROTHER OF IRON. Of course, Stretch would get the weight up, so Old Boy Stretch is all right. And about the look'in thing, If you have to look, you would'nt get it anyway...Now would you?"
" Now, who is Old Boy Stretch? He asked the kid.
" I'm a nobody son. Yeah that's right, a nobody. A faceless name like a thousand others in the far back of every gym. I'm one of the nobody's whose workouts know grunts and pain through the chalky mists. I'm a nobody boy, and I share a thousand nights of no sleep due to sore muscles."
" Keep looking at Ole Boy Stretch son. Maybe one day you'll get it, maybe one day you'll earn the privilage....no, the HONOR of being a nobody like Ole Boy Stretch and the rest of the BROTHERS OF IRON!"
Stretch held out those scarred hands to the kid. " Ya see these hands son? Yeah, that's right boy, turn away. They're not pretty like yours, are they? These squared fingers have been mashed by weights too many times to count, they've picked up more IRON PIES than most will ever know, and yes son....they're callused. Ugly as Hell...Huh?"
" Ya see son, that's how you can tell a nobody from the other lifters. Yeah that's right boy. It's in the hands...always has been too!"
Stretch started to stagger to the bar, chalking his hands as he walked. As he bent down to grip the Iron Bar, he looked up at the kid one last time and held his bloody hands out for the kid to see.
" You see son, these hands are earned. You wanna get huge boy? There's no other way to do it, but earn it yourself. No one can do it for you! And maybe one day, if ya work real hard at it. A BROTHER OF IRON will look at those hands of yours and smile. Because he knows. He knows where you're coming from. He knows of the pain filled days and nights. He knows of the sweat, blood and tears that you have sacraficed on the GREAT ALTAR OF DESIRE. And if you're lucky to see such a smile boy, you've earned that ONE smile a million times over!"
I guess you could say I'm a nobody as well. But as Stretch pulled out a set of four, hard, grunt filled reps, I had to walk away. It must have been the chalk dust in my eyes, maybe not. That kid walked up to me, and he had chalk dust in his eyes as well.
He looked up at me shyly, " He's a rare piece of work ain't he Mister? "
Wiping the chalk dust from my eyes I replied, " Yes son, he certainly is at that! "
Ranger
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