Guys - If you pay on the first date, what do you expect?

[velvett]

YES to everything.

That's not necessarily true. Most women in the US have a lot of pressure put on them to *not put out too soon* because then the man (regardless of what he says) will most likely not respect her. Which is total bullshit, but it is true nonetheless. The funny thing is when this is turned around on most men and THEY don't know what to do with it. Now THAT is classic humor.

I have had men straight up not to on any more dates because I wouldn't screw them on the first. Shit, I just spent a few hours with this guy and he thinks that I am *that turned on* by his line of rap that I just can't control myself? Puh-lease... It would usually take me two dates just to be attracted enough for me to WANT to kiss him.

Anytime physical contact came too soon (I went against my head and just said, "Fuck it. What am I being so old-fashioned about?" and connected with the man physically before I REALLY REALLY wanted to) it was always, always, ALWAYS disappointing at best, pretty lamo pathetic embarrassingly -oh my God I cant get out of here quickly enough BAD.

 

[yonkers weights]

NO> I never said if you can't pay your a looser or anything. Just in my life I always did! I have friends that get help from their wifes or gf's. That does not make them any less of a man. You do what you need to get by. I have just been lucky, I guess.

So IF a man allows a woman to pay when HE can't, what does this say about the man? He's worthless, cheap and has no respect for himself?

FYI: I paid 100% of the time when I met my hubby in College. As a matter of fact, I paid his car insurance and food expenses too. HIS family had nothing and he struggled to get the basics while in school. I was lucky to have folks who supported me in the fiance department.

He was worth every chance I took on him. He also is still payin for that chance...lol

 

[yonkers weights]

I never said anything about your questioning the logic.

Pride - For myself. To be in a situation to be able to do it.
Respect - For myself. I am a person who cares for others. Always been that way. I am the giver, the protector, ya know.

*I grew up watching my father pay for everything for our family. So when that's all you see and know, that what you follow. Not saying it is right or wrong but it is the way I grew up and the way I am. I don't see it as a problem so I keep it that way.

My biggest fear in life is not being able to provide for my family. I bust my ass day in and day out so I can have a certain life and be able to care for my family as it grows. I want my wife to have the option not to work when we have kids. She might end up working and she might not but having that option is important to me.

Bro, I was raised in the typical ITalian family. So pride and respect were the most important aspects of my learnings in that environment (and loyalty).

This doesn't mean, however, that I don't have the ability to question the logic behind acts that are always just "a given".

Pride about what?

And respect for who? The woman? So that must mean she doesn't respect herself if you pay?

 

[vixensghost]

NO> I never said if you can't pay your a looser or anything. Just in my life I always did! I have friends that get help from their wifes or gf's. That does not make them any less of a man. You do what you need to get by. I have just been lucky, I guess.

I was brought up that money does NOT define the man....

When my mom and dad were alive, my hubby thanked my folk's for their wisdom and my up-bringing.

 

[yonkers weights]

Money does not define a man. Where did I say that???
I just have been lucky to work hard and have money to have that option of paying.

 

[KillahBee]

I never said anything about your questioning the logic.

Pride - For myself. To be in a situation to be able to do it.
Respect - For myself. I am a person who cares for others. Always been that way. I am the giver, the protector, ya know.

*I grew up watching my father pay for everything for our family. So when that's all you see and know, that what you follow. Not saying it is right or wrong but it is the way I grew up and the way I am. I don't see it as a problem so I keep it that way.

My biggest fear in life is not being able to provide for my family. I bust my ass day in and day out so I can have a certain life and be able to care for my family as it grows. I want my wife to have the option not to work when we have kids. She might end up working and she might not but having that option is important to me.

And there's nothing wrong with your point of view. I grew up the exact same way and also exist in the provider role.

But man, something AMAZING happens when you consciously decide not to pay for women "just because" - you root out the low value ones who only want money and feel they deserve it by birth right AND in the end, the women actually respect you more.

That's what I found, at least.

Still, I almost always pay and that includes with friends too. habits are hard to break

 

[covergrl80]

Just checking in to see the pig posts

 

[yonkers weights]

I see your point. I guess I have been lucky with who I have been out with. One of my best friends does not make a lot of money. He is still my best friend and I do anything for him. When we go away, I help him out. Buy his tickets to South Beach or pay for the hotel. Things like that. I know he is not in the situation to spend like some of us and we all help him out. It is all good. As for dates, I had some who think I must pay and I will but they never go out with me again. I like when a girl offers. I always take care of it but atleast offer.
My wife does to this day. We have been together for over 3 1/2 years and she still offers. That's why she is my wife.

And there's nothing wrong with your point of view. I grew up the exact same way and also exist in the provider role.

But man, something AMAZING happens when you consciously decide not to pay for women "just because" - you root out the low value ones who only want money and feel they deserve it by birth right AND in the end, the women actually respect you more.

That's what I found, at least.

Still, I almost always pay and that includes with friends too. habits are hard to break

 

[yonkers weights]

I don't think there has really been any. I think that has been a solid thread.
Thanks for stopping bye though!

Just checking in to see the pig posts

 

[vixensghost]

Money does not define a man. Where did I say that???
I just have been lucky to work hard and have money to have that option of paying.

You did not say it.. I did.


My hubby also worked VERY hard getting his degree, he just did not have the extra money to wow me at the SAME time.

Trust me, I'd take the poor hubby at the time, than some of the monied jerks I dated at OSU. Just sayin.