Backstory. Been single since February, been on a great run of dating, lots of action all summer, but have been seeing one girl in particular 1-2 times per week since August.
So we've been dating for 3 months or so. She went to my company holiday party with me, she's met most of my friends, etc.
I get asked all the time if she's my girlfriend, I kept saying NO no no no no to everyone that asked, i said we were just dating, no talk of any commitment or anything.
But my female friends keep telling me that girls are different they assume that once you start sleeping with a guy that its a serious thing, etc.
So fast forward to Saturday, I don't know what the fuck came over me, but I asked her straight up "Do you call me your boyfriend?"
She kinda freaked out, said we can talk about it sometime, that it was a lot to get into now, that she had to go, that now she wouldn't be able to concentrate all day, etc.
Ok, so that opened up a can of worms I wasn't prepared for, I really didn't care, was just curious because I didn't want to mis represent the relationship in some way.
So I had about 24 hours to think about it before I was seeing her again and the more I thought about it, it started to bother me. I do like this chick. We get along well, she's great in bed, shares similar interests (both love the beach).
So last night we have a date. We go halloween costume shopping, pick up a a couple of pumpkins and a bottle of wine. Went to dinner. She was talking about how we had such a fun night ahead of us. Wine, pumpkin carving, smoke a bowl, sex, chocolate for dessert. All of this time we never really revisited the conversation from before.
So around midnight, after all the fun, the sex, all of that, we are in bed and she is telling me how it feels so comfortable and good to be with me. I asked her, "did I freak you out with that question yesterday?"
She says "oh, no, but I guess we should talk about that shouldn't we?"
I say sure.
She tells me that with where she is in live right now, really busy with a lot of personal development things going on and working nights 5 nights a week she says she doesn't have time or feel its right for her to commit to a boyfriend because she takes that very seriously or wants to be able to give a lot to it, etc.
I'm like, ok. This is kind of a shocker to me, usually its the women trying to get too serious too fast on me and I have to keep it casual and keep my distance. I do this usually because its with chicks I DON'T want to spend THAT much time with, or get too emotionally invested in, so its easy, just keep the distance, if it doesn't work, then its not the end of the world.
So that is now how I am thinking she is viewing me, which is fine, but I want to know it so that I don't pass up on an opportunities because I am thinking this girl is relationship material. Now I feel a little rejected by the whole thing too which is fucking with my head a bit. She's clearly into me, but I feel like I'm almost getting played now.
thoughts?
So we've been dating for 3 months or so. She went to my company holiday party with me, she's met most of my friends, etc.
I get asked all the time if she's my girlfriend, I kept saying NO no no no no to everyone that asked, i said we were just dating, no talk of any commitment or anything.
But my female friends keep telling me that girls are different they assume that once you start sleeping with a guy that its a serious thing, etc.
So fast forward to Saturday, I don't know what the fuck came over me, but I asked her straight up "Do you call me your boyfriend?"
She kinda freaked out, said we can talk about it sometime, that it was a lot to get into now, that she had to go, that now she wouldn't be able to concentrate all day, etc.
Ok, so that opened up a can of worms I wasn't prepared for, I really didn't care, was just curious because I didn't want to mis represent the relationship in some way.
So I had about 24 hours to think about it before I was seeing her again and the more I thought about it, it started to bother me. I do like this chick. We get along well, she's great in bed, shares similar interests (both love the beach).
So last night we have a date. We go halloween costume shopping, pick up a a couple of pumpkins and a bottle of wine. Went to dinner. She was talking about how we had such a fun night ahead of us. Wine, pumpkin carving, smoke a bowl, sex, chocolate for dessert. All of this time we never really revisited the conversation from before.
So around midnight, after all the fun, the sex, all of that, we are in bed and she is telling me how it feels so comfortable and good to be with me. I asked her, "did I freak you out with that question yesterday?"
She says "oh, no, but I guess we should talk about that shouldn't we?"
I say sure.
She tells me that with where she is in live right now, really busy with a lot of personal development things going on and working nights 5 nights a week she says she doesn't have time or feel its right for her to commit to a boyfriend because she takes that very seriously or wants to be able to give a lot to it, etc.
I'm like, ok. This is kind of a shocker to me, usually its the women trying to get too serious too fast on me and I have to keep it casual and keep my distance. I do this usually because its with chicks I DON'T want to spend THAT much time with, or get too emotionally invested in, so its easy, just keep the distance, if it doesn't work, then its not the end of the world.
So that is now how I am thinking she is viewing me, which is fine, but I want to know it so that I don't pass up on an opportunities because I am thinking this girl is relationship material. Now I feel a little rejected by the whole thing too which is fucking with my head a bit. She's clearly into me, but I feel like I'm almost getting played now.
thoughts?