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Anyone here have estranged members in their Immediate Family?

Mr. Black

New member
After a very strange fight between my wife and father in law, he decided that he would forever walk away from our lives. Sort of like those crazy asians that if dishonored, they pretty much believe their child is dead to them.It's been 7 months now without contact. Even with discussions between her dad and brother, not a word of us has been mentioned. Obviously she is having a very hard time dealing with this.Anyone else dealt with this kind of bullshit before? It's all new to me...
 
My nana had a child when she was sick and grandpa was (still is) a scum bag.So nana had to put her up for adoption, but an open adoption (meaning family could see her and she was to know her real family)...Well she turned about 13 and lost all contact with the family..Still to this day the only time she would come around was if she were to need something. No phone calls, no letters, no pics of her kid, nothing..People have pretty much gave up on trying to contact her because as soon as some one would she would change her number.Very disturbed lady.I guess the family decided it was best to let her go than to deal with her bullshit..It killed my nana on the inside, but she pretended to be strong for the family sake...I on the other hand never liked my aunt, and for one to be able to do that to family IMHO they just aren't worth it.
 
Middle Sister. Haven't Seen or Spoken to her in like 12 years and she lives nearby. Even Mom says she can be so nice, and then so mean..

I tried to work issues out several times without success.

I know its not the best thing and would wish it wasn't so, but avoidance
is working well now to keep us both happy.
 
My mother's family is like that. Her father had a fight with his brother and they never spoke again, over 20 years. And it wasn't like they had that much family to throw away, they'd come over to America from Poland.

Now in the current generation, none of the siblings are on speaking terms with one brother and it's been that way for decades.

No talking to people like that. It's a peculiar combination of ego and mulishness. 99% of the time the one who refuses to "make up" most vehemently is in the wrong and part of patching the problem up means they either need to admit they were wrong or at least say the other person's point is valid, and their ego won't let them do it.

A third party, emotionally uninvolved mediator is about the only chance you have of fixing it. Other family members can't help it, they'll just end up getting hurt themselves or getting into a fight with one of the parties involved, or you get a situation where someone thinks one member is siding with the other.
 
jh1 said:
Real mature to not talk to your own daughter.

Talk about hard headed idiocy...

Yeah he is a real piece of work. The only positive thing about this scenario is that he lives in Australia. Honestly though if we never hear/see him again it's proabaly for the best...
 
My mom refused to speak to anyone in her family after my grandmom died. I've had no contact with any of my mom's kin since 1976.
 
I've gone through periods of estrangement, but it's never lasted very long. I currently have not seen or spoken to my brother in two years except for once last summer to ream him a new asshole for not calling our mother while she was in the hospital.

We'll work it out, in time.
 
I haven't talked to my half bro in over a year. I guess he lives with his mom whom I hate more than anyone so I don't know how to find him but I don't wan't to even have to speak to her for a moment.
 
musclemom said:
No talking to people like that. It's a peculiar combination of ego and mulishness. 99% of the time the one who refuses to "make up" most vehemently is in the wrong and part of patching the problem up means they either need to admit they were wrong or at least say the other person's point is valid, and their ego won't let them do it.

.

You know it's funny you say that...on one occasion in the past the father in law and I were talking and somehow the topic of "being wrong" was brought up. He told me flat out that never in his 55 years he has ever been wrong and that he has never apologized to anyone. These facts were indeed substantiated by both my wife and her brother. Imagine trying to resolve a fight with a being of such blatant ignorance...
 
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