Had to respond to this!
Well I am new to this board and just had to respond.
1) It is REALLY encouraging to see the positive reponses posted. This must be a great board. Especially from the moderators.
2) Being one that suffers from depression and panic attacks - there is hope. You have to be willing to Fight if you have to -to get in touch with people who can help. For my panic attacks it was actually a friend that I had confided in about them that gave me a recommendation for Paxil. It changed my life! Along with that was some Panic Management classes offered by my HMO. It was invaluable. I still can get them, but have learned how to RE-ACT positively when I do.
3) Depression is another gift I have been given. This is a little harder to handle, but again there is hope. Medications can surely get you over the big bumps, but look for a therapist. If you have a HMO, they have to have them, along with crisis experts and the like.
The biggest battle is to gain trust and go for it. You have to make the decision that I don'w want to live like this anymore! God willing you can get there and then - don't be afraid to talk your ass off. Its all the things you don't want to talk about that you need to share. Trust me on this - its a burden being lifted like you never have experienced.
3) In my experience, physical activity is the best medicine. Keep moving till they HAVE to put you in the grave!
4) Look for books by Jon Kaiser, MD. He is an HIV/AIDS specialist in SF and has a wonnderful set of guidelines to discuss with your Doc. To rule out some OTHER things that can be going wrong.
5)See if you can at least get Oxandrin - should help with muscle mass - its a steroid, but weak and little side effects for most.
6) final word - you may feel like crap, but so something for yourself everyday that makes you feel good - Laugh a lot.
Good luck