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How does it feel to have aids?

Hello guys,
just wanted to express my joy when I read this forum. I am an actor new to L.A. from AUSTIN TX. I have been living with HIV+ for close to 3 years now. Was diagnosed an hour before I boraded teh plane from TX for L.A. I was so terrified I only told my mom right b4 I hoped on the plane eventhough she drove me to teh airport. I had it together, but she cried liek a baby and this made mescared reall quick.

HAven always been the responsible one I felt very disaapointed in myself for letting my family and younger siblings down. But now I am on my meds 01 a day Atripla and its working just fine.

The hardest part is still not telling those in my life. Besides my mom and dad and one of my very good buddies here in L.A. no one else knows about it. I cant eat certain things before my meds. If I forget and eat, it throws me off and I feel like a bad hang over for a good 2-3hours, and I still have to make it in to work. And its hard trying to explain why I am acting weird at work without telling them my HIV meds are messing with me.

The 2nd hardest thing is being able to date. I havent been able to find a girl either poz or a girl who will understand. I have tried the dating sites, but like 7 said they are mostly for people 35 and older and I am only in my mid 20`s. I found this one girl, but she couldnt handle it. I didnt even get to tell her. everytime it came up, she always blamed people who got STD`s and spoke so bad and low of them that I couldnt bring myself to telling her. And everytime she wanted more I couldnt give her what she wanted, hence she always thought I was a wimp--and that doesnt feel to good.

In regards to sex, its been a really long time. I am tired of taking care of myself (pardon the diretcness). Its just very hard finding people who can understand. But I a m blessed for being able to have a job and a mom who understands. My dad still is wierd about it, he has never mentioned it and wants it kept a secret as much as possible. I am still hoping to find a great lady friend who will understand and be willing to build a relationship with me.

Other than that I am coping just fine. Eventhough my buddies dont know, I still try to educate them on safe sex and COMPLETELY encourage safe protected sex.

To 7, keep your head up brother. I understand where you are coming from. I applaud you for your strength. And again thanks to all of you guys for understanding and teh support. It makes a huge difference to feel the support.

I keep gaining weight in the abdomen area. I eat well and have been working out off and on for about a year and a half. My doc. just put me on androgel and I still cant tell if its making a difference. Any thoughts on any good steroids to help me bulk up some. I am 5`11 about 170 lbs. I want to add 10-15 lbs of muscle and loose the body fat. I need the extra boost to boost my confidence so I can command teh camera and start attempting more shirtless roles.

Smooth.
 
I've read all of these posts and have deep respect for all. Though I don't have HIV, I did have a year or so of heart-pounding anxiety that drove me to living on the streets. I was a Naval Corpsman (medic) and was working through a Physician's Assistant program when I got stuck by a dirty needle . Some jackass wasn't paying attention and ran into me just after I had withdrawn a needle from a guy that was getting a full STD workup and it jabed into my forearm. Because of the stick, I found out that his HIV test came back positive (the dude had 16 cases of STDs in the past-go figure). My first test came back inconclusive, so I was taken out of school, out of direct patient contact and sent to work in the clinic's medical warehouse. Three months later I was checked again, a month of that time was spent in inpatient therapy from slicing my wrist deep into the artery (what they call an artirial cutdown) in very hot bath water. I tested negative, but they had to keep me for at least two negative tests (standard at the time). The second turned up negative as well and I was released from the Navy with Bipolar and PTSD. Just the possibility of having it fucked me up mentaly for life. It took 5 years before I got off the streets and now lead a healthy life. But every so often, I think, what if I do have it and it's not showing up?
 
hello, i was dating a guy a while back that was HIV poz. He suggested I try his HGH to see how it made me feel, and increase my working out. I liked it alot ecxept I always looked tired in the eyes. Is this a side effect? I looked like i just woke up all the time.
 
Hello guys,
just wanted to express my joy when I read this forum. I am an actor new to L.A. from AUSTIN TX. I have been living with HIV+ for close to 3 years now. Was diagnosed an hour before I boraded teh plane from TX for L.A. I was so terrified I only told my mom right b4 I hoped on the plane eventhough she drove me to teh airport. I had it together, but she cried liek a baby and this made mescared reall quick.

HAven always been the responsible one I felt very disaapointed in myself for letting my family and younger siblings down. But now I am on my meds 01 a day Atripla and its working just fine.

The hardest part is still not telling those in my life. Besides my mom and dad and one of my very good buddies here in L.A. no one else knows about it. I cant eat certain things before my meds. If I forget and eat, it throws me off and I feel like a bad hang over for a good 2-3hours, and I still have to make it in to work. And its hard trying to explain why I am acting weird at work without telling them my HIV meds are messing with me.

The 2nd hardest thing is being able to date. I havent been able to find a girl either poz or a girl who will understand. I have tried the dating sites, but like 7 said they are mostly for people 35 and older and I am only in my mid 20`s. I found this one girl, but she couldnt handle it. I didnt even get to tell her. everytime it came up, she always blamed people who got STD`s and spoke so bad and low of them that I couldnt bring myself to telling her. And everytime she wanted more I couldnt give her what she wanted, hence she always thought I was a wimp--and that doesnt feel to good.

In regards to sex, its been a really long time. I am tired of taking care of myself (pardon the diretcness). Its just very hard finding people who can understand. But I a m blessed for being able to have a job and a mom who understands. My dad still is wierd about it, he has never mentioned it and wants it kept a secret as much as possible. I am still hoping to find a great lady friend who will understand and be willing to build a relationship with me.

Other than that I am coping just fine. Eventhough my buddies dont know, I still try to educate them on safe sex and COMPLETELY encourage safe protected sex.

To 7, keep your head up brother. I understand where you are coming from. I applaud you for your strength. And again thanks to all of you guys for understanding and teh support. It makes a huge difference to feel the support.

I keep gaining weight in the abdomen area. I eat well and have been working out off and on for about a year and a half. My doc. just put me on androgel and I still cant tell if its making a difference. Any thoughts on any good steroids to help me bulk up some. I am 5`11 about 170 lbs. I want to add 10-15 lbs of muscle and loose the body fat. I need the extra boost to boost my confidence so I can command teh camera and start attempting more shirtless roles.

Smooth.

If you don't mind me asking; how did you acquire it? Were you able to find the person that gave it to you and if so how did you deal with that?

Thank you so much for sharing, be strong
 
Read some of the posts, and just want to say to keep it strong!


bumping the above info someone posted earlier.

I have researched this topic in the past, and while researching I've read of people being diagnosed HIV+ but then went somewhere else and got tested again and was diagnosed HIV-. If you've been diagnosed HIV+ have you ever got tested again somewhere else? The HIV testing is presented as a gold standard kind of test but that doesn't seem to be the case. Read the first article that someone posted up which speaks about the HIV testing. And from what I understand (correct me if i'm wrong..) "full blown aids" has no real definition except that if you are HIV+ *AND* have contracted some kind of serious disease then you have full blown aids. For example, if you have pneumonia and are diagnosed HIV+ then you have AIDs related Pneumonia. If you have Cancers then it's Aids related cancer. And they treat you for Aids which because they are very strong, toxic drugs they actually cause many of the Aids symptoms.

The aids "fact or fraud" argument has been long debated, and I'm not sure exactly who is right, and you can definitely find rebuttals of rebuttals of rebuttals of the each side's view. But with that, there are a lot of question marks open, which makes me leery to recommend an HIV+ person to seek the standard medical treatment of the HIV toxic drugs, but perhaps they have made advancements in different drugs, I am not sure, but would be skeptical and cautious about it.

Here is a documentary uploaded in 7 parts in google.com called
HIV-aids fact or fraud, here is part 1: HIV = AIDS: Fact or Fraud?

Now, I am not saying HIV-aids is not a real threat. Nor am I saying that it is. Again, when I researched this in the past, I read rebuttals of rebuttals of rebuttals and it was somewhat inconclusive to me since both sides presented themselves solidly. What I am saying is that there are definitely some questions to be had.

SS
 
I cannot believe the strength in this thread. And just thinking, i complain that i am an asthmatic and moan about having to carry an inhaler with me.

After reading this thread, i feel seriously pathetic.
 
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