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Z||000002||bikinimom||11-21-2000||10:27 PM||bikinimom@hotmail.com||No, thank you for allowing me to help.There are going to be alot of steps in the right direction, along w/steps back....there will be setbacks. Expect this. Give support, don't nag - but don't cave and say, "It's OK" either. This is serious business. From your Gurls' stats she really needs to feed her body and FEED HER SOUL. Life is amazing. Even with all of the complications therein, it is STILL WONDERFUL TO BE HERE.
We may never reach the pinnacle of perfection.....yea, and, so?! The point is that we keep trying to build ourselves UP not tear ourselves DOWN......surround yourselves w/positive reinforcement. (Which is what we have here ) If the majority of the people at the gym where you train do not understand that a "ripped" appearance is only for a day and that it is not healthy OR normal or if it is filled w/the skinny, flabby chicks who want to be in a negative clothing size....switch gyms. Try to be w/people who understand that it is more important to be STRONG than it is to be LEAN. Mass FIRST - then lean....and even then, single digit lean is NOT NORMAL or HEALTHY - it is for a moment in time.
For your gurl, I asked her to take a look at the color photos that I have posted towards the end of the thread "My girl, not much of a face, but she can sure do laundry" on the chat board, the ones where I am standing next to different known people in the fitness and bbing industry - told her my height and told her to guess my weight. She guessed me to be 110 - 115# (I'm 5'3 1/2"....in the past I'd stated that stats from my comp card 5'5", modeling BS) anyway - I AM ABOUT 130# give or take!!!! If this doesn't help put her problem (I hate talking about somebody in the third person - I'm talking to you too! Sista GURL!) into perspective, I don't know what will.
THROW YOUR SCALE THE FUCK OUT! You need to realign your thinking! I used to take great pleasure in knowing that I could fit into the smallest clothing size at any given store. How fucking sick is that?! Guess what?! I could give two shits what my clothing size is now....REALLY - I am living large and fucking happy! Now instead of an XSMALL (what the fuck is that anyway?) I am a MEDIUM....WOOoooo HOOOoooooo! (Ok, sometimes if the clothing is cut very big, I'm a small.) But FC and IG are hammering my ass into the gym mats to rectify that situation. I want a nice big round dense ASS like FC. And I ain't gonna get that on 1000 calories p/day!
So which is it Sista Gurl? You gonna beat the shit out of this fucking stupid shit or are you going to allow yourself to die? I'm placing my money on YOU 
!
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....beauty knows no pain.||24.4.252.80||reg||
Z||000003||jayjay||11-21-2000||11:03 PM||||Bikinimom, you said it all! ||152.163.204.25||reg||
Z||000004||freak daddy||11-21-2000||11:47 PM||brycedaddy@angelfire.com||very inspiring texassamm. that is awesome.
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freak daddy||63.25.160.141||reg||
Z||000005||TEXASAMM'S GURL||11-22-2000||12:58 AM||texasamms_gurl@hotmail.com||Yes, freak daddy, I must agree. What TEXAMM has done for me is awesome. I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, my sweet. You don't know how much you have done for me. I have not once heard you nag me. You have only given me encouragement from the day I told you about what I am fighting, and for that I am truly grateful.
And to all of those who have allowed me into your family, thank you. Your words of encouragement and Honesty, have helped me a great deal.
To bikinimom, I have purchased some film and TEXASAMM has gotten a digital camera in order to do what you and, I am so very sorry, I forgot what your username is that suggested, that I take the pictures. That assignment will be taking place soon.
I just want to thank you again from the bottom of my heart for all of your help.
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Z||000006||WarLobo||11-22-2000||11:34 AM||warlobo@operamail.com||What a great time for us to give Thanks for all the support we get from one another.
Small steps TGurl, small steps.
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LAte
Lobo||199.211.225.194||reg|| Z||000007||JayeLynn||11-22-2000||12:49 PM||greyvulf@hotmail.com||..and by the way, nobody here thinks your "nuts" TGurl. General concensus is that you're pretty extraordinary for striving to push beyond 'normal'. I'd venture to say that every girl here has fought the same battle you're fighting in one way or another.
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There is no measure to the benefits of patience and humility ... damn my patience is running thin.||129.80.22.140||reg||
Z||000008||Kaizen||11-22-2000||03:14 PM||ka1zen@hushmail.com||Cheers to TexasAMM and TexasAMM's GURL...
The kind of love and support you are sharing with us here is what it's all about! It's not an easy road GURL and your inner strength has brought you to this place where you are ready to stop being a scooter and become a ferrari!!! have faith in yourself when it gets hard... I have a favorite quote I'd like to share with you...
"We live by faith or we do not live at all.
Either we venture --- or we vegetate.
If we venture we do so by faith
simply because we cannot know the end of anything at its beginning.
We risk marriage on faith or we stay single
We prepare for a profession by faith
or we give up before we start.
By faith we move mountains of opposition
or
we are stopped by molehills
~Harold Walker
Keep at it GURL and when the going gets tough know that the men and women on this board are willing to listen and support you...You're not alone...
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Kaizen
Omnia Praeclara
tam difficilia
Quam rara sunt
Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to danger of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of 'crack pot' than the stigma of conformity." - Thomas J. Watson||204.89.159.101||reg||
Z||000009||TEXASAMM||11-22-2000||09:03 PM||texasamm@hushmail.com||Kaizen ,
what a wonderful quote.So true.Definitely one to remember.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving ....SAMM||216.215.86.222||reg||
Z||000010||TEXASAMM'S GURL||11-22-2000||10:48 PM||texasamms_gurl@hotmail.com||Thanks everybody, and a sincere thank you to my sweet, for all of the support you have given me. Thank you for the quote as well. You are right, we would be lost without faith.
Since I have been drinking my drink in the morning, I have become hungry later in the day. My body had adjusted to not eating, so it would not get hungry. I guess that drink, even as small as it may seem, is making my body run better. Heck, I am even going to try to eat a bit of Thanksgiving dinner. Please keep me in your thoughts though, because the gym is going to be closed, and that is going to be difficult for me.
I just can't express enough, how much all of you mean to me.
I hope all of you have an absolutely wonderful Thanksgiving tomorrow. I know I will. I get to spend it with my mother, and the person who is a huge part of my life, that means the world to me. ||205.188.198.183||reg||
Z||000011||bikinimom||11-22-2000||11:40 PM||bikinimom@hotmail.com||Your body needs to rest! YOU CAN NOT TRAIN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND EXPECT TO MAKE GAINS! Drink those drinks - WooHOOOOOO! and try to eat just a little more each day. Turkey, veggies, some yams, potatoes, bread - your body NEEDS food. Will you GET FAT if you eat a piece of pumpkin pie?! HELL NO! But I know how difficult it is. The struggle is still daily for me too! I don't have difficulty with good food that I know my body needs...but I have difficulty w/indulgences...ice cream and the like. So you know what? If it's too much for you, then skip the deserts and focus on good foods. OK? Just keep telling yourself, "I need this food. My muscles need it. My brain needs it. My heart needs it." Also tell yourself, "If I take every second or third day off from training, I will NOT get fat or flabby." YOU WILL GET STRONGER as your body will have had adequate time to recover and repair itself. BELIEVE ME. I am many things, but a liar isn't one of them. I know that I am but words on a screen, but Sista Gurl....I can't be completely misguided if all of these other people who I've nver met and who have never met me are telling you THE SAME THINGS!
Just take it one rep, one set, ONE DAY at a time. Before you know it, you will have lived through 2 days w/out tearing your body down.....then 2 days becomes 1 week, then 2 weeks then a month and before you know it - you won't be able to fathom how you could've tortured yourself in this fashion for so long! I don't know if the feelings will ever subside 100% but just knowing that all that shit that used to control me is no longer in CONTROL OF ME......hey, that's pretty fucking cool!
So go eat some turkey and green beans and yams and whatever the hell else you want! Drink plenty of water and rest. Enjoy the day - DO NOTHING and REST and GROW!
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....beauty knows no pain.||24.4.252.80||reg||
Z||000012||Kaizen||11-23-2000||02:19 AM||ka1zen@hushmail.com||Props to Bikinimom and to our new GURL!!!
GURL, your welcome for the quote..I think it's important for you to know I'm coming at his from teh opposite side of teh spectrum right now... I was at 38% bf last february..lurking around this board and dedicating myself to a healthy me made all the difference... I have gone from one end to the other 12 years ago I was getting ready to do my first BB show...then spent 12 years gong the other way..living with extreme emotions and perceptions is really hard... moderation is the real discipline...moderate your workouts and your diet and your body and soul will come into alignment...remember that the strength and the faith in you is in yourself...we will give you support as will your Texasamm but in the end it's all about you...and you being the best friend and lover to yourself that you can be... You are a strong woman already because you have insight. You are an amazingly strong woman because you have chosen to act on it by reaching out. Be proud of yourself...I'm proud of you for standing up to your voices and fears and shouting out no! Every step we take is a risk and I thank you for sharing your risks with us here... you are already so aware of your body at a cellular level that this path will make sense to you if not entirely right now that's fine but over time it will come to mean so much more when you realize that you have fine-tuned this miracle machine your mind, heart and soul lives in to be the best that it can be..when it is working "as designed" and is an inspiration to others... You've got it GURL!!! Be gentle with yourself on this path allow your physical body the time to recuperate and rebalance itself... It will pendulum but like any pendulum it will eventually settle to perfect balance...
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Kaizen
Omnia Praeclara
tam difficilia
Quam rara sunt
Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to danger of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of 'crack pot' than the stigma of conformity." - Thomas J. Watson||204.89.159.101||reg||
Z||000013||TEXASAMM'S GURL||11-24-2000||10:26 AM||texasamms_gurl@hotmail.com||Godd morning everyone. I just got through posting my STRESSFUL DAY yesterday on my strand. It was really rough, but I made it through. Yesterday showed me just how bad I am about wanting to control my environment, and if I don't feel in control, I freak out. But your kind words, and TEXAMMS words helped me through it. I feel somewhat better now. Still a little freaked out, but not as bad as last night. Yeah.
I hate the games my mind plays with me, but I guess that will get better as time passes.
I had a good day though, spending it with my family, or at least some of it.
I am going to the other side of the family today. That is going to be rough, but I will keep your words with me, and make it through. I would rather not go, but it is something I feel I need to do.
I just want to thank you, Kaizen, for your encouraging words. It helps me so much to hear from people who have gone through this, no matter what end of the pendulum.
I also thank those who are not really sure about this disorder who have just said, "I care, and we are all here for you."
Have a wonderful day.
TEXASAMM'SGURL||205.188.198.167||reg||