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 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Women's Discussion Board
 My g/f needs help being sexy
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| Author | Topic: My g/f needs help being sexy | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 396 |
My girlfriend is a beautiful woman but here is my problem... she just fails to be sexy. No matter how hard she tries she can't be sexy. She just lacks the ability to give sexy looks or move sexily or just be sexy. We have talked about it before and she admits that she just can't do it. We commonly joke about her needing to take classes on how to be sexy. This is slowly becoming a major problem for us though as it is starting to affect our intimate life. She has the looks but she just can't use them effectivly. Does this make any since or am I rambling? Anyway if you understand what I have said at all  then do you have any suggestions. I have seriously thought about hiring a stripper to teach her how to be sexy haha but that would never go over. Anyway she respects what you gals have to say here on the board and she would appreciate your feedback as much as I would.Thanks ladies,     | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 1236 |
Phew! Who's gonna be the first to help E out with this one? I am the master of unsexy, but that's because I have no desire to act sexy. | ||
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Cool Novice 
Posts: 39 |
I don't know - I don't quite understand what you mean. Is your girlfriend clumsy, or unfeminine. How can a beautiful woman not be sexy? I must be missing something. Do you mind further explaination? | ||
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Cool Novice
Posts: 17 |
To act sexy is to feel sexy. My husband use to complain about things like my posture. Said I'd look so much sexier if I had good posture. After a few years had gone by and my self esteam improved greatly, I act, walk, and talk alot differently. I now feel very self confident within and it shows on the outside. I think a sexy woman is a self confident woman. Perhaps your girl doesn't feel sexy even though she may want to. I don't think it's anything you can teach her but rather something that needs to be worked on from within. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 396 |
True true fit.... I think that might be her problem. She does have somewhat of a self esteem problem from time to time. Ayn, Its kinda hard to explain... from a guys perspective (or at least most guys I know), the are certain things a woman can do to that come across as "sexy" or "turn ons". These include like methods of eye contact, looks, body language and stuff like that. I think a lot of it has to do with self confidence like Fit said though... that makes a lot of sense. E | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 271 |
give her some GHB. hehe if she's not sexy to you then why is she your girlfriend? | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 412 |
What attracted you to her in the first place? This doesn't make sense, but I am probably the wrong guy to answer this type of question anyway. MR. BMJ | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 703 |
It's all in the attitude! Does she enjoy being a women? That would be the first question I would ask her! Also, just like Fit said; "Self Confidence"! But, first she must enjoy being a female! Good Luck! | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 253 |
She must have SELF CONFIDENDCE!!! She must love herself, accept herself and be happy with who she is!! It comes within and she has to feel comfortable with the woman she is. Is she a shy girl?? Sometimes if you are shy, a girl may giggle and laugh when it comes down to being sexy in the bedroom etc. Because she is afraid and not sure what to do, and she may feel what she is doing is not sexy or will be good enough for you. You have to believe in her and give her what she needs so she is assured you are attracted to her etc. But in the end it really shouldnt matter, cause you get self confidence and everything else from yourself and loving the woman you are | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1356 |
Do you mean she never initiates sex with you? Doesn't talk dirty? ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 396 |
new@getting big: If she would even giggle shyly, that would be somewhat sexy in itself but she won't even try. Skydancer: No, she never initiates sex though she swears she always wants to have it and she never talks dirty either... both of these would be nice but that wasn't the only think I was refering to. She doesn't so thinks like whisper in my ear or give me suggestive hugs or anything like that. I tried the lengerie thing once but didnt really work....i'm gonna try that one again. She attracted me in the first place becasue she is really really pretty and also a sweet person. I think it all comes down to a real self confidence problem. E | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1356 |
Self confidence, fear of rejection even shame is all part of it too I'm sure. Be patient with her, encourage her when she takes a tiny step towards being more aggressive (sexuality wise or not). More than anything she's probably afraid of looking stupid or you not "getting the hint". Been there done that myself. ------------------ | ||
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Cool Novice
Posts: 13 |
Maybe she needs some pampering...Treat her to a make-over...maybe a massage, hair, nails done..that might boost her confidence.I don't think being sexy is something that a woman learns, its something that were born with. We're all sexy in our own way. For example my boyfriend thinks its sexy the way I brush my hair, or wear sexy shoes in bed or just little things. But, I think that if you pressure her in anyway its going to inhibit her. Just relax and let her discover whats inside of her that makes her feel like a sexy woman. | ||
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Moderator 
Posts: 2667 |
I agree with the others on this, some people exude sexy...it pours out of every pore in their body. It isn't learned, it is innate (I believe so anyway and I am basing this on personal experience). It can not be forced. When a woman tries to force "sexy" it ALWAYS comes out as SLEAZY with a capital 'S'. If you are attracted to her the way she is (which is what you said) then it really shouldn't be a problem. However, I do understand why you would desire her to be a little bit more like this. Some men find a bit of this arousing and that's fine. If the problem is really about her feeling inhibited sexually than that is a not quite an issue of sexyness, but of self-confidence and her being comfortable in her own skin. Perhaps she was raised with some very old-fahioned puritanical views about sex and sexualtiy in general. I was, but instead of embrassing them, I went the other way. In short, I rebelled. (hehe) I have to admit though, I had a tough time personally with my own sexuality once I had the kids. It was the whole Madonna/Whore thing. But now that I'm happy w/my physique, no more worries about pregnancy (WE ARE DONE BIGTIME!), and happy about the direction that my life is headed in in general.....I GOT NO MORE TROULBES! It as if I were 21 and carefree again. Good luck and if I can help your girl, tell her to shoot me an email. ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 92 |
sexiness has to do w/ confidence in one's self...do you put your woman down?are you constantly telling her she "isn't" sexy?this can drive someone crazy and give up trying. do yourself a favor and start complimenting your wife's sexiness even if it doesn't exist.start getting excited about her looks(since she's good looking) and let her know about every one of her good qualities.this will help build her self confidence and beleive me when i tell you...she will be sexy in your eyes.i beleive you can "mold" someone's sexiness...and it's even better when the person doesn't have a clue about how sexy they really are...my wife has been driving me nuts for years...and she didn't have an ounce of sexiness when i met her.fyi.hope this helps. ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 396 |
No, I never put her down. I always tell her how beautiful she is and everything I love about her. As for her being puritanical, I dont think so... by no means am I her first or even close to it even though I may be her best heh. I think some of it might be that she has never been with a person that has actually payed attention to her needs. I am the first person that she has ever been able to orgasm with becasue I always put her needs first. I never put her down though, and I am never like "whats wrong with you, why can't you be sexy?" or anything like that. I constantly tell her how pretty she is and how much I love her.E | ||
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Cool Novice
Posts: 39 |
Keep trying to make her feel wonderful and sexy. If she feels that way, she will act that way. If she feels a little more sexy, it may help her confidence a little too - and vice versa. Just remember to encourage and love her. | ||
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Novice 
Posts: 9 |
I have confidence issues, too. If your girl's trouble is at all related to that, this has helped me a lot.... ....Taking belly dance lessons!!! This is GREAT because there are not guys around watching this activity during class, and everyone who is in the class has been at the exact same place as the "first day" beginner, and nobody puts down anyone, ever. Everone has been there. In fact, usually, everyone gets very excited when new people come to class, to make them feel comfortable and at home. My teacher is incredible. Not only the best dancer (you can spend hours watching her dance and it passes like minutes), but honest, down-to-earth, totally in touch with all feminine issues, being a female, herself; AND she is a bodybuilder and CPT in several diciplines. If you want belly dance info for your girl, post again to let me know, and I will try to help out to get you info for the area where you live. Your girl can try out some ultra-feminine (and sexy) postures and dance movements, in a belly dance class, with no criticism, and get tips on technique, etc without feeling like an absolute idiot. My teacher is incredibly down-to-earth and wonderful, and this is similar to bodybuilding in that I have yet to meet anyone who is into belly dance that is catty or cruel in any way. Everyone is 100% encouraging. Fennec ------------------ [This message has been edited by Fennec (edited February 10, 2001).] | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 154 |
100% attitude! Does not matter what you or anyone tells her. If she does not feel sexy she will not expel sexy.... I have seen some very "average" women who are not "cover girls", but they can pull off being sexy as hell! A*T*T*I*T*U*D*E* NO one can give it to her, she has to feel it herself~she has to like the skin she is in before she can un-leash that wild side to you. Keep loving her...it will come when she feels it. Takes some time for us women to be the good/bad girl's for our men. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 913 |
Accept her or not, thats it. ------------------ | ||
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Novice
Posts: 6 |
I am not beautiful by any means. But after I realized that there is more to being sexy than looks...I am. Not meaning to sound high and mighty, but when I had a self esteem problem, I din't feel sexy and nobody really noticed me. But now..WOW. Guys I don't even know are giving me a second glance. The more I work out and the harder my muscles get, the sexier I feel, which lends its way to the bedroom. I am now likely to arouse my hubby when I am feeling in the mood. Before I would just wait for him to initiate. It is not something anyone can giver her, but when she finds it...LOOK OUT!!! | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 2667 |
Amen to that Backup....I think hubby is going to end up in an early grave LOL! ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 143 |
Personally, I think Bikinimom is damn sexy! Hey Bmom, do you have any interest in younger men, say about 20 years old? I think we could have a good time. | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 2667 |
*blush* ------------------ |
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posted February 08, 2001 07:22 PM
