A New Beginning

Nef,
It's not a "I'm too busy to think about stuff" thing....it's a genuine peace.
Sometimes we addicts are toughest on ourselves. Doing what you love is not an escape, unless you do it 24/7.
Good luck on your diving.

Agreed with ricco. The first step to recovery is the very acceptance that looking inward and trying to do things yourself is not working.

I'm doing better than I was with my last post. I have a small vacation coming up where I'll get to go diving. I've been teaching classes with a fury. Diving has always been one of the biggest things in life that could restore me to sanity. It's not a "I'm too busy to think about stuff" thing....it's a genuine peace. In fact, when I am under water I am completely alone with my thoughts. It's kind of like meditation. That being said, as soon as I move I need to start establishing a relationship with a local meeting and be more diligent about going again. Once I am out of DC I'll actually have some time in the evenings again, something I'm really looking forward to.

Well, here's a link to put it into better terms than my own. But my own experience with this is a return to being overly sensitive, self-absorbed, "moody", obsessing over things beyond my control, getting resentful, and thinking about self-destructive behaviour (this is my biggest warning sign).
The key words that I have heard other people in AA say are "restless, irritable and discontent".
http://www.aacanada.com/drydrunk.html
Unfortunately, Iggy, the answers are not found in "myself" because my best behaviour brought me to my knees. Left to my own devices I'd be in jail, dead, or in a mental hospital. It was only finding help in AA that I got sober and sta sober.
I am definitely trying to recondition my neural pathways so that my immediate response is to ask my higher power for strength and wisdom, rather than to freak out and have cravings.
Even after some sober time, it is still in there. I had a dream a couple days ago where I buying my drug of choice and it was so vivid that all my old ritualistic behaviour that I did with the drugs were in my dream, and in my dream I was right there back in my old self and my old habits. I even had one of my old paranoias in the dream, which was perhaps the weirdest part of all! I could feel it, taste it, smell it in my dream, which means that it is still buried deep in my brain. I was relieved when I woke up, to say the least!

If we found answers "within ourselves” we wouldn’t be addicts.
God will do for us, that which we cannot do for ourselves.
Read pg 62-63 of the BB.
62 tells us about defects we all have and 63 tells us what to do about them.

Pick, I'm glad you like it. I like Dyer. He's direct without being preachy and has that calmness and clarity that most of us crave.

I have trouble understanding the "dry drunk" idea. I've been called this a couple of times. Maybe cuz i don't work the program as much as i should. i'm still not sure.
What are some behaviours of a dry drunk?

BBR100,

Just put Dyer's "The Shift" on top of my Netflix Que

trex, I wouldn't think about the higher power so much as to look for the answers within yourself.
stay positive.

Just got back from a meeting today and got some stuff out there that had been marinating around in my head, basically that it's easy to get into dry drunk behaviour if I am not doing the work, and initiating that dialogue with my Higher Power. Heard some really good stuff too, it's neat how sometimes the people there just talk about the stuff that I need to hear at that moment. It's like we all share the same problems and work the same solutions...guess I'm human after all!

A lot of LOLing in the program.
One of the things that makes it so great.

LOL at pg 96, and LOL at sober 1 's story.