A New Beginning

Yeah, the feeling/ not feeling thing is throwing me off. I haven't been drinking, but I'm just having a really weird time coping with stress and for some reason I'm getting myself worked up when I have nothing to stress about. Funny though tx, I read that line about reacting normally the other night. I just want it fixed like yesterday. Jnev = impatient.

thats so cool nefertiti...i'm in awe here

trex...that's my back yard...and it's the intercoastal waterway. I am less than 100 yards from the ocean out front.

Trex, that's as good of advise as you can give. Sometimes it's all you can do to put one foot in front of the other, the next day may be fine, then it's back to the one foot deal. As time progressed, and I sta in the "do the right thing, then do the next right thing, and the next,etc", it seemd that my life was making a turn. I wasn't so unhappy, so angry, so depressed with myself, and things just kept getting more tolerable. I said many times, "I wish I had a better clue as to how to react/feel about things that happen, for some reason I wasn't born with a set of emotional instructions to follow." Things that SHOULD have upset me didn't, things that I should have shrugged off just made me really ED/hurt.
I do believe that the BB says something like this, " I never did react normally to any emotional situation..." Reading that for the fist time was one of my many AH HAH! moments in AA.

nefertiti, that picture looks like a painting! wow, it is so beautiful! hey are those palm fronds in your yard? OMG enjoy yourself, it looks amazing! What body of water is that btw?

jnevin, I was thinking about what to say to you, because I remember how it was for me when it was still really hard to stay sober and be happy living a sober life. It was not easy, and sometimes it was not fun, but I can guarantee you this : It gets better, much better with time. It might suck right now, but hang in there and just do your best each day, and I promise you that it will get better. We have all been there in those dark and sad days when it seems too hard to function or even get up in the morning. It's not unusual to have weird emotional problems getting sober, after all, (in my experience) I was self-medicating for so long that I didn't know how to deal with everyday life, or any stress, no matter how small it was.
Be good to yourself, you are doing the best you can at this moment. AA will always be there for you if you decide you want help. There is usually a meeting going on everyday if you need it, in person or even online.
The major thing to remember is that you are not alone, and you are not the only one struggling. You are being very open and honest, and that is so important in recovery, to just spit it out when you are hurting, sad, or feeling alone.
Take of of yourself, you are the only self that you have got.

My new home:

http://i978.photobucket.com/albums/ae269/lillypad112/backporch.jpg

good going BBR. Like you just posted it's still just one day, then the other until you have 365 days strung together. Whoever wakes up first that day, they have the most sobreity.
jnev, ricco said well. I'm sorry your still strugelling bro, I wish I had the words that worked for you. Like my sponsor told me, I've posted before, the majic words are, "God help me." It worked for me....

congratulations BBR100!!!! It is truly amazing that you made it to one year!

Thanks guys.
It sounds korny but "one day at a time, it works if you work it etc" really does apply. I really don't think about drinking anymore. Not daily or weekly at least. I still get the demons (very briefly) in my head if I'm at a bar watching a game or with friends that are having a couple. I don't hang with people that abuse though.
Not being able to drink like everyone else does frustrate me. I loved it. It didn't love me.
I love that I don't get as frustrated with relationships and other daily challenges.
I keep going to meetings (weekly homegroup at a minimum). Some help, some not as much but I feel better for just having been there and resetting priorites in my head.