A New Beginning

nefertiti, go see a doctor, so you can deal with whatever it is. you can do it, be brave ok?

So, I haven't gotten a period since january. Had to post it, say it, make it real. Could be stress, but I've never had stress draw it out that long. One period missed, yes. Three, no. I haven't lost any weight, haven't been working out a lot. I could go to the doctor but I just....can't. I had a cyst a few years ago that was possibly cancerous (turned out to be benign after a biopsy). I'm a little nervous....more so every day period watch doesn't show a period. Oh, and I'm not pregnant. I've checked, twice. Suckage.

I've had so much on my plate that it seems like I have not been here in ages!Hey I wish my CR had food!That would be good.I was at a HUGE CR (which I was not comfortable at,btw)Which had loud Christian rock music,lots of HOO!HOOIN' and bouncing around,then talking,then seperating into groups(guys@guys&gals@gals)for small forums.
I just realized I'm talking like I am good with that group,but it was overwhelming,for I was new in rcvry and Fresh outta the Joint.Maybe i was not openminded and shoulda given it a chance.
I've been slowing down on meetings too lately.You know what they say about that eh.But I feel that I make THE WORD OF GOD(the Bible)my authority and GOD my higher power,and HE puts the Holy Spirit in me,taking my attraction to things and desires away.
In Isaiah 53:5"...By His stripes we are healed",right?That means that by Jesus sacrifice for us,we ARE(not maybe,sort of,or exceptions)HEALED!!!
The healing is DONE ALREADY ,its up to us to recieve the healing by submitting to Him:STEP 2-WE CAME TO BELIEVE THAT A POWER GREATER THAN US COULD RESTORE US TO SANITY,right?
Then we're at STEP 3 and we all know that one-SUBMITTING to the HIGHER POWER(I call him JESUS or GOD)
Enough ramblin' for now,eh?

It's sort of a stronger faith based 12 step thing...My sisters CR group also does dinner together (sort of a pot luck type thing). For her there are two parts...fellowship and dinner for an hour, and a large group meeting after that. She looks forward to it every week. I don't know enough to know if that's universal, but it might be something to check out....I know a couple of others that go to other CR meetings and they've said similar things about it being a positive atmosphere built on fellowship.

I just googled that- I have never been, but it looks like there are two- one at a pentecostal church, and another at a Christian ministry. What's it all about?

I'm turning a slight corner finally...Outpatient felt like swimming against a three knot current for a while, but it's starting to feel good now. Still acting out here and there but I've only purged twice this week and I have to see that for it's victories (like sunday when I was around a TON of food and people eating and I had no urges or difficulty) instead of the two failures. I've also made strides to get connected to other things and people that will help me.

Trex....I totally get what you're saying....been there. It's work to find a good meeting and sometimes, in some areas, there just isn't going to be one. If you're not leaving there feeling good, then it's not doing you any good. I think you have the foundation to do the steps on your own. I think sober support is really important though, but you don't have to find it there. Do you have any celebrate recovery meetings near you? Everyone I know involved with that has said really really good things about it. Just a suggestion

This weekend....my best friend will be in town, then my parents are coming down on Monday. I'll probably go to services tomorrow and sunday and do easter lunch/dinner with a girl from my eating disorder support group.

No one is going to like this, but seeing as I can't seem to find any meetings with "normal" people, I have pretty much stopped going. I talked to a counselor about this decision, and he seemed to think it was an OK decision. My rationale being that women are supposed to stick with women at AA, right?. Problem is, all the AA women are friggin psychopath drama queens or sad sack martyrs who like to play the "victim". I'm not going to surround myself with that. I am going to stick with my Higher Power and take it from there. I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off of my shoulders now that I have made that decision, and I am not going to force myself to go somewhere that only brings me down.
Have a great weekend everybody

since when does everyone get Friday and Monday?
Going to a meeting tonight that I don't usually get a chance to go to. Some "normal" people with good sobriety. A friend is starting new step group Thursday but habs are playing...priorities.

I'm looking forward to 4 days off.

Is evryone having a long weekend coming up? What are y'all planning? I'm having some people over for dinner on the Monday. Ham, scalloped potatoes, cheesy brussel sprouts and a big salad. Not sure what's for dessert yet. And a four day wkend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!