A New Beginning

This is a group for addicts and only addicts. If you are not a addict or have a on going addiction of some kind then please do not join the group or take part in it.

We as addicts can relate to other addicts. You would not show up to a AA/NA meeting sit down and say "Hi I am so and so. I am not a addict but I am here to help you guys". Like wise we as a group would like it to be the same way for this group.

Thank you

good man jnevin. As long as you are aware of which one is real. That's what is important.

I remember when i was first sober and in your same situation (she had just moved out). She ran her mouth to anyone that would listen about how horrible i was and that she had "finally left me". Of course i had been trying to get her out for months going so far as to offer paying her bills.

Even though i knew what the reality was, it just consumed my thoughts how her friends and family viewed me as the she finally got away from. Poor innocent thing, she had suffered so long.

Of all the things that i should have been thinking about (staying sober for one), this is what i was swamped in. Horrendous self inflicted mental suffering.

I feel for you bro. I just wish i could package up my hindsight and mail it to you. What you're going through is just unbearable. Hang in there.

OB, the first I'm is the right one. I just keep having people give me ty looks and talking about me and after having her do what she did my confidence is shaky. Yes, I used to drink too much. Yes, I used to work too much. Yes, I think I was depressed for a while there and it made me very distant and hard to talk to. But she went out and just started ing some guy after giving birth to my child and the fact that I'm making sure the custody arrangement is a fair one and all of these people think I'm an for filing first. One of her friends called me literally yelling at me for reporting her suicide threat. She didn't know that she had actually tried to kill herself in the past.

Sometimes it's so hard not to go buy a bottle and I just sit or lay there wanting it. Then other days I just don't want it. I hate it. I wisy I didn't feel anything ever.

Jebus, I haven't felt this ty in a long time. Definite motivation to stay on the wagon. Throw a teething baby into the equation and it's not so good x 50. I'm just so disappointed in myself. I knew exactly what I was doing and I just went on with it so I'd be numb and not think. Eh... didn't work. All I did was think.

Yeah Nef it was referring to your attempt.

walli, good job posting up. If you want to spill more please feel free to do so.

Way to man up and post what you did jnevin. You are doing all of the right things now (regardless of the perception of others), just try to keep that bottle away.

Speaking of the perception of others, you seem to know that you are doing all of the right things. If YOU know this, then what is it within you that is causing unnecessary mental suffering by focusing on how other people view the situation?

If the answer to that question isn't obvious, then take a look at your statement:

"I'm just trying to do the right thing and I'm the biggest in the world"

Which I'm is the real you and which I'm is the answer to the previous question?

OB, I'm not sure which post he was referring to, so it's hard to answer that without the context.

I think he may have been going back to one of my posts about my own attempt, and having it click in my head that no matter how isolated I was in my own pain, my choices affected those around me who loved me, hurt those around me who loved me...and that if I couldn't keep living for myself, at first, I had to keep living for them.

Nef/Jnevin: If our lives aren't ours, then whose are they?

Nev dont beat yourself over this bro your going thru alot and yes does happen instead of feeling guilty go to couple meetings and enjoy the day with your daughter.