A New Beginning

Preemo, you ok? Post up and let us know you're ok.

Based on what you are saying, i have to make the suggestion that you drop the relationship with your wife ASAP. Attempting any reconciliation with her right now is toxic to your health. Toxic! She is taking you on an emotional rollercoaster. You need desperately to hop off.

There is no way for you to recover in this environment. One second she has you full of hope with a few words, the next she crushes you. Again with the hope, again with the crush. Nobody could maintain their sanity in such a situation.

In order for you to feel any kind of peace anytime soon, you need to stop all communication with her now. If you don't, she will destroy you. I know this is no easy task, but it has to be done.

I'll be out west for a few days...you guys take good care of yourselves in the meantime!

Preemo, hang in there...weekends are always kind of slow around here. I PMed needto to let him know you needed an ear, but the rest of the gang will check in tomorrow.

You can get through this...

i need to tlk to somebody right now please sombody talk to me!!

i feel very bad right now jnevin my wife has stopped talking to me last thing she said is she has doubts and dont know if we should be together. i have been posotive and tried to be here for all her tressed out times lately.my house is going into forclosure and ive been laid off for a few months with nothing posotive ther at all! i can deal with her not want ing me and me loosing my house and not having a job. but all 3 at the same time and to feel like she is playing with me like oh i love you and want you and want us to be happy then oh i dont know if we should be together all in the same conversation is really killing me? she wont say she dont want me but ahe will sayu she is very unsure! WYF????? im really struggling right now dont know what to do to make her happy! i geuss there is nothing to do but to move on and try if i can to make myself happy. i want to be with her and to be happy so much that i hope it will happen. and she tells me that she loves me and wants me so bad then turns around and says she dont know what is best for her now. im so confused and she wont talk to me now i just want to move and change my number and forget her. the only thing holding me back is thatr we are married and i know at one point she loved me and did want us to work out. please pray for me all of you who understand im going to bed night fam!!!

eh...

Nev, thinking like that is dangerous...sometimes bad things happen to good people just because. If there's a "why" in your story, the "because" lies with her. I'm sure things could have been done differently in your relationship, but maybe, no matter what, it never would have worked long term. Even in the aftermath you've tried to be decent to her, and she has been childish and vindictive. You don't deserve to be going through this, so don't go looking for a reason to think that way.

I just don't know how it got to this. I didn't always take the best care of myself but I always made sure everyone around me was ok. I never cheated on her, was always honest in business, always go out of my way to help people, etc. I feel like I must have done something to bring this on but I can't figure it out.

Ah nev...it hurts me to see you struggle like this. I wish I had words that could ease you.

I was saying a year ago I'd have been able to. I've drained my savings keeping us all going since. Now they're gone and she has someone paying for her atty with endless resources. The guy also wants her to file for sole custody.

As far as everything else, I've talked to people that have gone through this before and they've given me solid advice. I've always been the one that takes my daughter to the doc, he said to explain everything w/o throwing her under the bus and to have the doc write a letter stating that. I should also keep a log of whenever I have her and really focus on our activities together so I can go in there with a log of actual time spent and she won't have anything. Just focus on all of the positive and not on her behaviour.

I have no record. Any drinking accusations would be purely heresay. My long work hours were years ago when I was actually busy. I never even smacked my dog unless we were playing and I have no history of violence. I've always given the two of them a roof over their heads and provided for them. She's having to live rent free with people, I had to buy her car for her, she has a suicide attempt and a stint in rehab, and she has a new police report documenting her latest suicide threat. It's maddening that after all of that she can still be the primary parent. I've had anger spells lately that literally make me lightheaded.