Was training in the gym this AM with the hubby and I noticed a poor unfortunate waif-looking chick literally struggling with 10# dumbbell presses. I remarked to my hubby that somebody oughtta give that poor woman a steak, a freaking baked potatoe, and a WHOOOLELOTTA greens, perhaps a banana split with whipped cream and a coupla cherries and some nuts for good measure for desert!....then maybe she could wash it down with a tall glass of chocolate milk - perhaps then she MIGHT break the 100# mark on the scale.

Continued w/workout not thinking too much more about it. After weights and a quick stop to the ladies' room I ran upstairs for a dreaded spin class (yes, I am cutting >:O), felt a little badly that I was about 10 min late, but oh well 30 min of cardio will do me just fine right now, thank you! (This is the scary part!) I walk into class and near froze in my tracks from shock! Who do yall suppose the instructor was?!?!?!?!?! None other than the anorexic (I'm not even REMOTELY exaggerating here) woman that I had noticed earlier! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!

Anyways, I figured, whatever, I'm there to do what I need to do and that is that. It was almost too painful for me to look at her during the class. Her legs were the circumference of my upper arms and her upper arms were the circumference of my bean-pole eight year old daughter's!

As the class ended I was looking forward to a good sttttttrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch. She stayed on her bike, kept peddling as if her life depended on it and told us to stretch out ourselves, that the class was over and have a nice day!

When I was in the locker room, I found it very difficult to control myself. Perhaps, I myself was incorrectly perceiving reality. So I asked a few of the other members about this instructor (it has been months since I took a class) and they said that there were many other gym members who refuse to take this particular instructor's class because they are afraid that she will collapse in the middle of it!

So now I'm at the counter getting my shake asking for the head aerobics coordinator (or whatever the official title is) because even though I'm sure this woman is very nice and I don't want to make trouble for her professionally, I can not in good conscience stand by and have a health club promote such standards to women......and who do I see "weight-training" AGAIN?! THE SAME WOMAN!

Can't the people in charge see that this poor woman has an OBVIOUS DISORDER?!?!?! How could they hire this woman to instruct other women?!

I'm not saying that everyone should be a competitive bber - Hell, I tell EVERYONE who will listen when I prepare for a comp that it is NOT HEALTHY and it is NOT NORMAL and it IS ONLY FOR A DAY! But for God's sake!!...can't they see that this supports the notion that women should STARVE and TEAR TEHMSELVES DOWN and NEVER EVER ASPIRE TO THE PURSUIT OF STRENGTH AND SELF-ACCEPTANCE?!?!

And you all know what was EVEN SCARIER STILL?!?!....many of the women I was discussing this situation with actually believe that this woman was so thin because of her "genetics"!.....and that yes, she was a bit thin, but they really didn't see what my problem was (they didn't say this last part w/their mouths, they said it with their silence, body language, etc)!

This is a very personal issue for me and I take this very seriously. As a woman who spent many MANY years of her life, starving, binging, purging, HATING and tearing myself down because I NEVER thought that I was good enough - I have finally evolved and come to a place both physically and mentally where I am confident and happy (not necessarily 100% content) whether I am fat and bulked or lean and shredded......or anywhere in between.

I have this board and its members in a very large part (especially a few who have gone above and beyond to help me out...and they don't even know to what degree they have helped me!) to thank for the place that I have come to today.

Thank you all.

It has become my personal crusade to STOP THIS BULLSHIT!

OK, Rant over....I'm getting off my soapbox, for now!

Currently I have two trainers at one gym I go to that will not speak to me as I PRIVATLY suggested that they at least put he safty bars up to the proper height when their client does squats (and "half" squats at that)

Can't change the world.... but you can sure as hell die try'en - and loose a lot sleep along the way too.

I am telling you Bmom, listen to me on this one, let it drop.

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LAte

I went to a picnic this weekend and ended up getting so upset. This one girl that could be the twin of the girl you spoke about was talking about How she starves herself and debates on whether to eat a whole banana or half depending on How much activity she did during the day. How crazy is that.

Meanwhile she is saying she would give anything to look like me. Not that I look anything like you or FC, but I look pretty good for my age and am still trying.

When I told her that I eat 5 to 6 times a day and told more or less what I eat and that I actually weigh 130lbs. She tells me that that is impossible that there is no way I can eat that much and stay "thin". She flat out called me a liar.

My ears started getting red and of course my voice was getting kind of loud. My husband saw How I was getting and went over to find out why I was so upset. He of course backed up my story and even told her that when I weighed less I actually looked fatter, because I didn't have as much muscle. Well, needless to say she was not convinced and my husband also got kind of heated. Ruined our day to say the least.

Anyway to make a long story short she is get this a sports nutritionist for a sport doctor. Where does she get her info?? How can you talk to someone like that?? SHe is supposedly an expert in that area?? Can you imagine get nutritional advice from here?

Scary shit indeed!!!

[img] http://users.erols.com/thatsoffensive/Resources/skeleton.gif[/img]

It's hard to break out of it when you've spent 20 years in it....I havent looked at a scale in months because I dont want to know if I weigh more than 100 lbs....I still get a little jealous when I know girls the same height as me who weigh the 89 lbs I always wanted to be.

I started lifting weights partially because I gave up. I'm too stocky to be heroin thin, and I was tired of being tired and wired...too many alchohol only sandwiches will do that after a while.

Talk about SCARY, has anyone seen that cheese commercial (I think it's Kraft singles) where the little grade school boy gives his sandwich to the "hot chick" of the class? She is much more waifly than average, even for her age. What really sets her apart is all the other kids in that commercial range from normal to chubby.

Even though the waif girl actually looks happy to get the sandwich, it's the envy on all the other little boys' faces that speak volumes. I see this as yet another example of the media promoting the anorexic look - this time with grade schoolers no less!!!

And yes the media is frickin' crazy to keep portraying this as desirable. You should expect more from an instructor though. Normally, I am a great one for saying let's write letters to this organization or maybe if we got together and boycotted this or that but with this subject where do we start? The media is to blame, the FDA has weird ass nutritional requirements, physicians in this country are way off base with regards to nutrition and supplements etc. Nationally Certified instructors (whatever good that is) don't know sh*t about training. I wanna say let's get together and stand on a soapbox but who do we direct it to?

I feel like I did in college when I was on a crusade to remove animal tested products from store shelves.

Was this your instructor?
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Lobo, I know that you are right. If they hired this woman in the first place, they obviously did not have the female clientel's best interest at heart. And somehow I don't think that they can fire or refuse to hire her based on the fact that she is DANGEROUSLY skinny....or maybe they can, I don't know.

I'm not saying that this woman was a bad person - but if the other women see her tearing herself down in such a fashion - and she is a ceritified instructor (whatever THAT means) then they will get the message that this is something to aspire to also!

I've not seen the commercial you speak of Fit Fossil - but if you say it is so, I seriously doubt that you imagined this!

MY EIGHT YEAR OLD BEANPOLE DAUGHTER TOLD ME SEVERAL WEEKS AGO THAT SHE STOPPED EATING HER SNACK AT SNACKTIME BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS TOOOOOOO FAT!!!!! Hello! Is anybody listening?!?!?!?!?! You know where she got this from??!?!?!? Her little girlfriends who have mothers who have shit-for-brains and have drilled into their heads by comments and example that you need to starve and be thin! She used to tell me that she got a great deal of pleasure out of being able to go back and forth between this length of rungs at recess time and she developed an amazingly strong upper body! (She started this activity in kindergarten. She's now in the third grade.) (I thought she was growing breasts and then asked her to push her palms together - MY GOD!...THE CHILD HAD BIGGER PECS THAN HER BITCH-TITTED 12 YEAR OLD MALE COUSIN!!!) Now she tells me that she "walks around with her girlfriends during recess and talks". WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

We had a lengthy discussion and it seemed to help, but THAT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!

I don't know what else to do. I feel like no matter what I DO PERSONALLY....my daughters will fold and give in to the pressure and influence of their little friends with the idiot mothers and all of the media BULLSHIT!

My daughters have met FC and IG a few times, heck they babysat for my kids and they are in awe of FC's physique (as am I)....but there is soooooooooo much negative contrary bullshit reinforcement! What am I to do?!

Bmom - all you can do is continue to show your daughter by example. At her age her interests are changing but she will come around again.

Ladies if you see something in commercials, mag ads whatever that makes you mad write the damn letters!! Go online and send them and email! If someone asks you how you look so good tell them!! Even if they choose not to believe you, someone will listen!! I finally did!!

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Patience is a bitter plant, but it has sweet fruit.
Well done is better than well said.

It's also true that some people are idiots and will not listen to you. Hell, I used to work in a health food store, so I have first hand experience of bone heads....

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"Mr. Phillips, are you honestly telling me that people are really going to believe that I'm the 'before,' and he's the 'after'?"

If she is a certified professional than I would think that she SHOULD know that this behaviour is NOT condusive to a healthy situation.

Let's just give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she was training for some "endurance" event. I admit I have VERY LIMITED knowledge of how one goes about effectively training for such an event. Please educate me. Does someone weight train for an hour, then do intense cardio for an hour, then continue to weight train?

Bmom, your going to have to come too grips with the reality of most people in the gym have no clue what they are doing and go to the gym just to go to the gym.

I would venture to say that 95% of women in gyms have an eating disorders (maybe not full blown anorexia) but binge eat and binge exercise. And there is NO getting through to these people.

Do this survey ask 100 women in the gym if they want to gain or lose weight.

And I'm not just picking on the ladies at the gym..men are just as pathetic.

I get people asking me or FC for advice and we take the time to show them proper form answer their questions and next time I see them they are back using the same terrible form and doing the same silly exercises as if we never spoke.

Bottom line is the vast majority of people have neither the intestinal fortitude nor the mental dicipline (focus) to make any serious progress or changes in their lives..be it professional,personal or physical.

IG

I posted another pic of me standing next to her on RC's bf% thread so that you could see how warped my body image was too. It's no crime.

And I must humbly disagree w/you Sister that most women want to lose weight most of the time. I am very comfortable being the weight I am and though I am leaning a bit, slowly and wisely, it has nothing to do with the number on the scale. And as a matter of fact, I spend waaaaaaaaaaay less time in the gym now (unless of course it is 2 weeks before a comp) than I did back in the days when this photo was taken. Now I have a better understanding of how my body works and what it is that I need to do in order to achieve what I want.

Take a look at this and tell me that I am wrong.

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"If you believe in yourself & have dedication & pride, and never quit, you'll be a winner. The price of victory is high, but so are the rewards."
-Paul "Bear" Bryant, Alabama Crimson Tide

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"Mr. Phillips, are you honestly telling me that people are really going to believe that I'm the 'before,' and he's the 'after'?"

But, no matter what you say to someone like this, it will not help!~ The only time it may help, if she is ready to get help. And if she thinks she has a problem!

I also agree with IG most men and women at the gym DO NOT have the slightest idea of what they are doing and don't want to know. They actually get mad if try to help them out with an exercise or form. So I've given up on trying. If I see bad form or a distorted version of an exercise. I will look away so I don't have to see.

I think most of us have a mental image of what we want to look like, (be it obtainable or not) again mainly due to the what the MEDIA is prompting.

I have always had an image problem. When I was a young girl I was anorexic and was very unhappy with the way I looked although I weighed 76 at age 17 and my mother would have to make my clothes and had always struggled with those tendencies. Did I know I was anorexic at the time, NO. I didn't think I had a problem.

It has taken me a very long time to change me perception of what beautiful is. For the first time in my life, I am actually happy with the way I look, not that I can't use more improvement mind you. But am acutally pleased at what I see when I look in a mirror and I weigh more than when I was 9 months pregnant with my kids.

DR - Whether this girl has a disorder or not she is just not healthy looking and is in the personal fitness industry therefore, she is sending out the wrong message to her students of what to strive for. Bmom is not judging her just expressing concern that she is exhibiting signs of having a disorder. This girl may not even KNOW she has a disorder she may feel this is what she needs to do to look the way she wants.

Just my .02

I feel sorry for this woman and pray to God her vital organs do not shut down on her before she see's the light!

Year's ago, I watched a good friend kill herself . I only wish her family and I knew what was going on at the time. Even in today's world with all the knowledge we have, women continue with this form of "killing themselves" for what they percieve to be beautiful! TRAGIC!

It would literally be the highlight of my day, because otherwise I felt absolutely horrendous physically and mentally. This was when I was in high school. I'd always been very shy, and now the popular girls were actually envying me. This egged me on to keep losing weight.

Even though now I'm cured (or shall I say "recovering", because even though it was 20 years ago, the haunting thoughts are still there, just quieter), I can see an anorexic and still feel a twinge of envy! Now I'll quickly remind myself how miserable I know she is on the inside, and how either she'll drop dead or boomerang into bulimia, because no one can sustain themselves like that indefinitely. I tell myself she's got one hell of a long row to hoe, and NO!!!! I really do NOT want to be in her shoes, and YES how lucky I am to finally be coming out of that hell.

Just to clarify, the pics I posted ARE NOT of the spin instructor who prompted this thread - they are of me and my EX-training partner. I posted the pics to give the members and idea of where I am coming from, to let you know that I USED to have a MAJOR BODY IMAGE and EATING DISORDER...yes, when those photos were taken I WAS COUGHING UP BLOOD ON A REGULAR BASIS.....and yes, I do KNOW FOR A FACT THAT MY X-PARTNER SHARED IN MY ILLNESS BECAUSE WE WOULD DISCUSS IT OPENLY!

When I decided that I had had enough (if coughing up blood along with EVERYTHING ELSE you just ate is not enough to scare the SHIT OUT OF YOU......I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE WOULD!) I surrounded myself with people who gave me positive reinforcement. IT WAS SO FUCKING HARD THAT FIRST TIME I BULKED UP!!! But if I really wanted to compete, it was what I HAD TO DO!

Now, three bulking cycles later I have COMPLETLEY reshaped my body. But more importantly I have healed my soul. I don't have to run to the bathroom after every little thing I eat/drink. I don't gorge myself with THOUSANDS of empty calories in a sitting because I am "just going to go throw up anyway". And I don't have to do HOURS of CARDIO and lift on an empty stomach to "BURN FAT" (WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?!?!?!)

I'll tell ya what....I was thinking that if I punished myself enough than I would eventually "deserve the body I wanted" and then I would be happy. WRONG! All I did was FUCK MYSELF UP (Thank God, I stopped before I permanently damaged myself) and become a prisoner to my own distorted body image.

I know that not every thin woman is starving or running to the bathroom after every meal. But if a woman is so weak that she can not stand erect (you know what I am talking about, the women who have a permanent slouch because they do not have the energy to carry their own body weight) then she does NOT have a superfast metabolism.....she is nutrient deprived and/or over-excersizing.

The majority of spin/aerobics/kick-boxing whathaveyou instructors who understand how their body's work DO NOT USE ALL OF THEIR CLASSES AS THEIR WORKOUT! They show you the moves, then get off the bike and walk around, etc or the tension is so low that they are barely raising their heartrates!

And the SCARIEST PART of this entire story is that when I LOOKED THE SCARIEST and UNHEALTHIEST......is when I got THE MOST COMPLIMENTS on the PHYSICAL APPEARANCE from the general population, that is. NOT FROM the people in the fitness industry that I wanted so much to impress.

This PROVES how warped the general populations' body image perception TRULY IS!

Now, I have come to a place where I compete against myself - no one else. I understand my physical limitations and I have set more realistic goals for myself. I still would like to compete but I do realize that I will NEVER get past the local level....I simply am not willing to do what is necessary to be competitive on a higher level. And as for my modeling - I am a commericial fitness model. Most clients find my physique most appealing between 15 - 17%bf. So why on earth would I want to be leaner?...unless it was what I WANTED?!

Thank you, again to all the members for allowing me to share my experiences. If I can help only one other woman (or man) avoid the dark hole that I fell into or help one other person to claw their way out of that hole, then the embarrassment that I risked in telling about my personal experiences will have been worth it - A THOUSAND TIMES!

BikiniMom - bless your heart. You can change the world, but you can't control it. Everyone has to do their own thing in their own time: and if all else fails, then I guess it all falls to Darwin. "Survival of the fittest" All you can do is set an example and offer to those who want to receive, what they ask of you .... and little more. Live and let live: it takes all kinds to make the world go round. You know, it doesn't really matter what the game is. We all go in with a strategy in hopes of coming out ahead. Sometimes the strategy works and sometimes it doesn't. Being a mother has taught me that you cannot spare anyone the pain of a lesson they are determined to learn for themselves: kids and adults alike. The pain that I would spare you is the anxiety associated with the obsessive need to control. I know first hand.

On my way out of the gym last night a tiny young girl told me she loves to watch me work out because I'm such an inspiration. Made my day.

One of the other members who said they used to love when someone approached them in a "perverse" way. Is why it is important that you are careful in what you do say. Something that does not mention that they look skinny, in a way it does reinforce the destructive behavior.

It must be difficult seeing women like this especially when you were there yourself. That is why I think it is important that you try to approach her with your concerns.

I will try to find that article I read on this issue and post it.

I feel that one person can make a difference even if it at the time it feels futile.

ps...tonight on tv there was a show called thin, and it covered alot of the stars that had eating disorders. they tried to downplay calista flockhart and that boyle gal, attributing it to metabolism. but the actresses they did talk to were pretty upset about how they were and vocalized it well. hopefully that will open a few eyes.

I am still trying to work through all these things myself and I do have those days where I feel like giving up, but one just has to keep remembering that we are worth it....

I too, have found solace with this board and your story really touched me.